My blog is not about being read.. It is about being written..

a letter

2011-11-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

It was our homework to write letters to our parents in one of our class by doc Batan in Seminars in Sociology. This homework is an inspiration from KARL MARX's letter to his father. I just have this need to publish my letter to my mom. This is something I poured my heart over and.. well that's it. Need I say more?

9:30 PM

November 19, 2011

Saturday, bedroom

Dear mama,

This it. Only a few months from now and hopefully I’ll be soon walking on the stage wearing my black toga having a degree in Soiology which I would never have achieved if it weren’t for your support and guidance all through out the years. Somehow I feel like I’ve become a burden already since I am two years delayed and I know that financing my education in University of Santo Tomas is not easy. You’ve sacrificed a lot for me and all I really want to do is to return every thing back to you. Of course to be able to do so, I have to take one step at a time and just finish this last semester of school year.

My only concern and main cause of my anxiety lately is my thesis. Yes you saw me panicked a lot of times and you heard me cried over the phone because of my thesis. Im quite embarassed but I am also so grateful that in times of almost giving up, you were always there to remind me that I can do anything and that God is my stronghold. Your wisdom really got me going. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but in my deepest despair, you were always the one I run to , not my friends. And everytime, you never fail to make me feel better. We might fight a lot and annoy each other but I know our love for each other can transcend everything and anything in this world. You are the best mom ever.

Studying for a year in UST engineering and almost 4 years in AB have transformed me in ways that I could never imagine. During my highschool years, I was always hatid-sundo. But during my years in college, I’ve learned how to look after myself and be independent. There were times I cried during commuting because I never wanted to and I was not used to! I didn’t want to ride jeepneys or bus or walk and you know that. I like to believe that sometimes you were laughing at me because I had to learn life the hard way. Thank you because you let me experience these things so that I would grow up. I read a quotation online before that if you love a person, you would teach her how to be independent so that she can be strong enough to make it on her own if you’re not around. That’s what you did. Living in a dormitory for years and commuting back and forth from UST to our home in Laguna every weekend definitely made me a strong person. And yes I loved it when I would come home with a delicious meal always waiting for me.

Do you remember that it was you who chose Sociology for me? I wanted to take literature but you said that Sociology is so much better because I could work in almost any company that I want. Now I realize you are right. Not just that, but I realized about a great deal about life because of studying sociology. I’ve come to known great men like Durkheim, Marx, Parson and much more more. Reading their books are like having to talk to men of great minds. In addition, our professors in Sociology always challenged us to think outside the box when it comes to viewing the society. I’ve learned that nothing is really real in this society. Everything is just socially constructed by man himself for his hunger to communicate and work with one another. Well of course as time goes by, as different ideologies came into the picture, somehow that created world gets distorted and conflicts arises. However if there is conflict, there is also unity and roles for everyone that has functions that may or may not simultaneously affect one another. In this society we live in, people might not realize but everything is interconnected with each other. I remember during our immersions, we were taught to apply the theories they taught us and surprisingly, patterns and trends are present if we really take a closer look. Speaking of immersion, I learned a great deal about adapting to different situations and dealing with different kinds of people. I know that there are certain circumstances, that I myself, would even cause a debate at home because I would insist stuff I’ve learned from school. I really learned a lot and sociology has opened my eyes to new perspectives. And again, I thank you.

I have almost come to the end of my letter. I know you might find it weird that I’m writing to you in this way when you’re always used to me joking or goofing around. Well new is always better right? Honestly, writing this letter almost bring me to tears and nostalgic feelings. This is it, I’m almost there. I’m just overwhelmingly happy and excited to graduate and make you so proud. I am utterly blessed to have you as my mother and I hope you feel the same way as I am your daughter. Of course please also send my love to papa as ‘Ill ever be the papa’s girl.

Forever grateful,

Bonnet

SO THIS IS GIRL WORLD

2011-11-02T13:07:00.002+08:00

I dunno why some girls have a mustache. Not the real thick one like with guys, but the subtle ~~annoying~~ one that would only surface when you take a closer look. Those little evil hair (balahibong pusa) that would put you to shame when you zoom in your picture. HAHAHAHA! Okay so you're wondering where is this is heading... OKAY FINE I HAVE A GIRL MUSTACHE!! DAMN IT! YOU HAPPY?!???

I don't really mind my mini cute subtle girl-mustache.. Really... but when my girlfriends started teasing me about it and my boyfriend started to do so, I kinda opened my mind to new opportuntiies. Lol. I don't really know anything about WAXING and it was only when my friends told me that wax could actually help minimize hair growth. I was scared becase my mom would always tell me not to shave my legs because once the hair grow again, it would be like MAN LEGS with thick curly hair. However waxing is different from shaving. Waxing pulls the hair straight from the roots that is why the hair take longer to grow back at least 2 to three weeks. Some of my friends already had a brazillian wax or upper lip wax so I kinda got the inspiration and courage from them haha!

So last Sunday I went to LAY BARE and had an upper lip wax. I was a bit anxious because what if my upper lip gets bloated or get so red that people inside the mall would notice. And I was also thinking about how painful it would be... Well it turned out to be NOT PAINFUL at all. There was a slight uncomfort of course, but it was tolerable and quick enough to withstand. I say, FACIAL AND REMOVAL OF BLACK HEADS IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more fucking painful that having you upper lip waxed! NO drama at all!! It was fun and easy breeezy!

So when I was there I felt the girl put some ~~baking soda~~ powder on my upper lip area and then she put the hard wax on and then started pulling. It felt like she was using a scotch tape! And then after that she used threads to thread out some of the tiny hair left. This is the uncomfortable part, but only a super tiny bit painful ;) hahahaha!!!! So here are my pictures:

Oh my Gosh. After having the upper lip wax. I was like, "OH MY GOSH! IM NOW GROWN UP GIRL!" haha Well honestly these suff arent really a necessity in life. It is more like for vanity. When I was a kid I only dreamt of these kinds of things and now Im actually the GROWN UP DOING THE GROWN UP STUFF! Oh cool!!!! :D :D Honestly I got kinda excted with the waxing thing and now I wana try the Brazillian wax! But then again, I dont think Im THAT OF A GROWN UP TO HAVE MY VAJAYJAY PUBES WAXED. hahahaha! M SHY! ;)

Disclaimer: I actually know why some girls have the "mustache"
because of hormones and all that scientific crap. What I really
wanna know is WHY ME???? ;) kidding

so close

2011-09-15T10:15:00.004+08:00

Last night was the scariest night of my life. I thought I was going to die! I was in my friend's pad hanging out. Well to give you a little history, I still have my menstruation last night, had few shots of the bar (to relax from the stress of our thesis) and took a shit at my friend's pad because I dunno I was having LBM ( I think) . Thats why we werre there. After a few minutes hanging out, I felt super nauseous and then I started to feel numbness. Oh my God I said to myself, this is my HILO-ATTACKS I always experience since I was small. I was rationalizing, thinking of what to do next. I struggled to just walk and relax but it was too strong. I could feel my body weakening. I went back to the room again . OH and take note, the whole place has no windows or ventilation and the hallways are narrow as fuck and the rooms as well. I REALLY FELT CLAUSTROPHOBIC my number 1 fear in life. So in the room, I just grabbed the fucking fan and drink the water on the table. God knows if it was clean or who owns it or if it was really water. I was panicking I wanted my dad to be there coz he'd know what to do. Well, usually they would let me smell an aweful smelling oil or just bring to an open space. So I thought OH GOD! OPEN SPACE! Ilabas nyo ako. I need air. .. The moment I stood up -BLACK OUT--- Well the feeling of a black out is like this. You cant breathe, ears feel hot and then literally, the vision will start to blacken slowly. I was so fight ing it. I felt tired that I wanted to lie down........ But the moment you lie down, THATS IT. That means you're passing out.. So I stood up and then got so tired again, that man I could just fall asleep but if I do that Id be unconscious and what If I stop breathing totally ??? I thought damn Im I cant die like this my life is still a mess!!!!

BLACK OUT.. and the next thing I know, my friend Arturo was carrying me already telling me Im heavy.. I smiled to him I remembered.. THEN BLACK OUT again. BLAG! I heard myself fell down again. then BLACK OUT AGAIN. I felt serene it was like I was dreaming already unitl I heard a scream. I came back to conscioiusness again. I saw starngers but then it hit me, "I cant stay here, something worst will happen if I stay".... I need to go out I cant breathe. " I was like saying saying LORD LORD aleeady! I wanted to go to the hospital. I wasnt crying or panicking I just wanted to get the fuck out. I needed air.

So yeah I managed to gather the last inch of my physical strength to get up and go down the dark staircase and at last outside to the open space!!! We were about to go to the UST hospital already when noobody wanted to take us. my friends calling for help I dunno. I was abt to get in the tryke but damn fuck! It was a closed space again, I CANT. The little closed vehicle would bring back the claustrophobia attacks.. And then my friends saw chairs outside a small resto so we just sat there. My friend had to massage my head cos I was numb.. Art had to squeeze my hand... I had no oxygen in my body.. And then thats it. for about an hour we stayed there and let myself cool down.... I could feel that slowly Im regaining my strength but I was still nahihilo..... MY god, thank God for Jayrin and Arturo........ Seriously, what happened was so scary. If I didnt not stand up and go out, God knows what would happen to me. I passed out thrice for heavens sake! @_@ oohhh shit.... Thank you God. I swear Ill be a good girl from now on..

SHIT so scary..... Thank God... :((((

PS I cant imagine my face being sooo white again. literally

restless

2011-08-31T18:40:00.005+08:00

Im still grateful.... A moment ago I wanted so bad to go somewhere far away and search for life, explore the world. Then the thought that Ill be staying in school 6 months na lang came as a big fucking realization!! damn. might as well enjoy it right?

So yeah literally 5 minutes ago I was feeling so restless and bored with my life. but NOW, after thinking about my life and how time fly so fast, it's like I want to savor each and every day to the point that Im slightly pressured. HAHA

anyhooooo....I think laziness is the core reason why Im feeling restless right now. I keep on thinking about the future and all my selfish ambitions that Im starting to forget about the present and those what/who matter in my life right now.

Hay ...O Lord... Help.. Divine intervention puh-lease?? :) Thank you very much!
(SO STRESSED WITH MY THESIS. SHIT. )

IN A RELATIONSHIP

2011-07-18T01:19:00.003+08:00

3 days ago, I was telling you guys Im in a complicated relationship , AND NOW IM IN A RELATIONSHIP... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! It was like surprising EVERYBODY's ASS OFF in FB when we changed our status. Well they asked me how did it happened or why so fast blah blah blah... well here's my answer:

I (we) have this certain kind of feeling that I cant explain....I was sure it's him who I want to be with right now. It's like being sure with what I was never sure of all the (many many) boys I met before.

Okay so yesterday we made it official. We were just suppose to go home-seperate houses of course when my mom texted me that she had a meeting til 3pm. It was only 12 noon so Aldo asked me why not have lunch at his place. I met his mom, big sister and then his dad. And they're awesome! I was a little nervous at first but I dunno, I felt like I was welcome naman. My gooosh we had sinigang for lunch and chicken pochero, then I ate again--icecream, muffin, minute maid, suman AND THEY GAVE ME DURIAN to take home!!! :hahahaha! mu ultimate faaave! Then we went to festival mall to meet my mom. HE MET MY MOM. HAHAHA! And it pretty went weelll. After that went to Alabang town center, had his hair cut, bought himself new pair of school shoes then ATE at RECIPE. We had crispy tilapia (good) and ADOBO flakes (so-so) and turon with icecreamm. And then went to my place. But it was late already so he didnt stay.

TODAY I attended a Binyag/dedication with elai, justine and of course Aldo :p at Vivere hotel. Then went to ATC to eat @ Mexicali (fave) and had a beer and tacos. HAHAHA. We really are the oddest couple everrr. If you only knew how we are like together and what we are like together. UGH CRAZY! Crazily amaaazing. <3 <3 And then we just walked around the mall thinking about what to do next. And then we just went to his place again and family was there and ....AGAIN I ate na naman a loooot of food... fried salmon, pata somthing and mooooore. I met his kuya, sister in law ( Fiona) and nephew RYO. Super cute and kulit! Uggh it was fun!! And then home around 9.

boyfriend

hihi baby kyle (may inaanak's) picture

yum!! (beer @5pm LOL)

I dnt wana full kwento kase hahaba. HAHA pero everything was prefect timing and unexpected. Just like our relationship HAHAHA :p We were talking about how this 2 days felt like for us. Feels like we've been together for 2 months already!!!! Being with him and away from the Manila was like being transported to a different dimension... Haaaay.. :) :) Weeeelll we're looking forward to eat at dampa this wed and on friday my mom will cook for him here at home!!! :D :D :D

relationship status: IT'S COMPLICATED.

2011-07-13T18:06:00.002+08:00

Fuck friendster for this (in)famous statement. Hahaha. I dont know how to begin.. Lets just put it this way:
Love happens when you least expect it.
Well I dont know if it's love cos it's too early to tell. And besides I dont really believe in Love At First Sight shit, it's just all about the physical attraction.

I always tell people when they ask me about love/relationshp that I dont believe in ligaw. It's a stupid act imposed by Filipinos. I mean it's just a way for guys to put their best foot forward and then when their in the relationship itself they would just go back to their normal ass self. :) Well ligaw is good as long as they will be consistent. Which I doubt. Im not being cynical here, just telling the truth. and it bites!

Well I believe in friendship as the first level of a relationship. In that way, there will be the companion side of love and it's genuine. In friendship you get to see the person as who really is. :)

SO. Ive known this guy for years already cos ya know he's always around. I got my boyfriend before and he got a thing with this girl. We never really got the chance to know each other more...til now...
A lot is going on in my mind right now. Im happy. yes. absolutely... But I dont know.. Maybe Im just scared.... Yes I am. If only he can take it away. CHOS HAHAHAHAHAHA ew! kadiri cheesy hahahaha!

Too many shit in my head. I dont wana think!! I just wana feel. HAHA!

My GOsh.. this is really really UNEXPECTED. hahahaha! w/c I find so cool. HAY. Im just scared. But I know myself. I take risks if it's worth it.

LORD THANK YOU

2011-07-08T15:15:00.002+08:00

I got up this morning having a very unusual HAPPY or should I say JOYFUL mood. :) First of all. I dreamt about Andre last night and oddly enough, we were fooling around in my dream. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pg 13 kinda type. HAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, this post isnt really about my dream or whatever I just had the urge to share it LOL. Anyway so I read my bible, wrote on my planner and I was surprised that it's JULY 8 already. July 8 is the judging day for my SMART ENTRY. :)) Finding that out made me super duper excited!!!! oh please Lord Pleeease. I already asked papa to get the SmartBro sim card and insert it in a cellphone and I told him, someone will notify him from Smart. HAHAHAHA. GANYAN KATINDI ANG FAITH KO!!!..

While I was bathing, I was thinking of what am I gonna buy first or what kind of an investment am I going to do; what will I give to Andre's family; What the judges look like and was wondering what's their name again as it was posted in the website (but I alrady searched for them, stalker much??? LOL; and then I realized, first things first, GIVE TITHES TO GOD when I win and then I know everything will follow. :)

I came accross a bible verse this morning that said, "If you have faith, you'll be given whatever you asked for". OHA OHA! Well this isnt just about the Smart Extraordinary thing but I guess everything in general. Right?

Please. Akin ka nalang?

2011-07-05T14:05:00.001+08:00

Dear Irene Agnes Aguilar,
Congratulations!

Your story has been approved, and your are now eligible to win P100,000 and have your story featured in the next SMART ad.

To view your story and share it with friends please click the link below.

http://extraordinary.smart.com.ph/?compositions/details/1283

To know more about how SMART can continue to make your life more extraordinary, click here.

Thank you for your participation.

SMART Communications, Inc.

YEY!!! MY ENTRY WAS ACCEPTED!!!!! I really really really hope I get recognition aka WIN this contest!!! Please Lord.. Pleease.. (Please Smart judges. :) Andre, please help talk to God... :p) Thank you AMEN !!!

it's my birthday today

2011-06-16T12:28:00.000+08:00

Its so weird... A few minutes ago, I came across my friend's blog, jay (http://www.allthejaay.blogspot.com/) and she was talking about her HALF BIRTHDAY. HAHA. I was amused about the idea of celebrating your birthday semi- annually haha! Well for her it's like celebrating about life.. :) I like her point!

Funny thing is, I computed when is my half birthday if my real birthday is DECEMBER 16. and guess what.

it's TODAY!!!!!!!
JUNE 16!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dunno it' just weird. really feels like my real birthday today.. I feel like celebrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

matured

2011-06-05T04:12:00.000+08:00

2:18 AM!!!

HI!!!! OKAY I said I'm gonna shift to a new blog which is my WWW.LOVEBONNET.TUMBLR.COM but somehow I cant seem to post my innermost personal stories there. I love reblogging cool/pretty/awesome stuff there, but posting diary-like entries? I cant. I dunno, I guess Im more comfortable writing here in blogger. Feels more private and secure. (which is kinda ironic coz I got 80,000 hits already! hahahaha!)

SO! Whats the efs up with my life lately.. HUH! You wonderin?? yes? NO?? ugh okay.

BUSINESS
Since January Ive been kinda busy with my business!! As in literal! Im actually surprised that 4 months have passed doing it! Well first it's really good feeling when Im earning extra dough and being able to buy stuff now and then AND also it's great that I found new friends that I know I can depend on and can help me to the road to richness and character development. :D All I can say is that I LOVE GFI!!! And because of this company I became closer to my sister and cousin. Cant wait to build my own group!!! Build relationship with the people w/in the group and HELP them get wealthy.

Tagaytay :)

Okay heres a little word vomit from my part. In our group, Im kinda feeling frustrated cos it's like Im slowing down. I know my weakness and Im REALLY REALLY doing my best to improve and get better. I feel like an underdog right now. really. But it's kinda exciting too coz I know that for this is just temporary and when I rise from this situation, I know Ill be on TOP of the GAME!

BY DECEMBER 2011
IM GONNA MY WHITE HONDA CITY
AROUND MANILA BABY!!!!!

SCHOOL
Ive been serving in my OJT for a month already. Aaaand. It's boring. I cant imagine being stuck in a four cornered room sitting all day in an office cubicle, doing the same stuff everyday. It's great to meet new people but damn it's hard to be confined in such environment. When I graduate Im hoping to do business or have a job that involves a lot of traveling or "action" or whatever. I dont know how many hours I have left but it's kinda hassle cos it's the start of school already this week.

MY blockmates who were also my OJT-mates :D :D Fun when they were
still there. They're done with their 200 hours. haha!

ANYWAY! IM SUPER EXCITED TO SEEE MY FRIENDS! AND GUESS WHAT!??? THIS IS THE FRIGGIN LAST YEAR OF MY COLLEGE LIFE! IM ALREADY A SENIOR BABY!!! FUCK YEAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :)

PERSONAL
Hmmmm... I just found out that though you're not in a certain relationship there is a possiblity that you can still have your heart broken. Well this happened to me for the first time. The experience was something to be remembered. It wasnt the kind Ill get depressed over but yes it did hurt for 2 weeks. (may timeline! haha) Seriously, it had its blow. But all is well that ends well right. I already raised a white flag and I gave up on him/idea.

PS I know he'll come back and by than it'll be too late for him. Im sure! HAHA

Anyway, Ive met lots of guys but after this guy I was talking about, I kinda drop the idea of BEING ON THE MARKET. Now I can say that Im single BUT not available because I choose not to be. Im tired of this dating game phase and I just want to be alone and focus on my career/business and self and family and most importantly and above all things my relationship with God.

A want a wonderful guy that will love me for who I am and be the lover and best friend at the same time. Someone who can make me laugh and also laugh with my jokes. Someone who's ambitious as I am and have passion for life! Someone with good values-- God loving man. :)

HEY.. Sorry just cant sleep. I dunno why... :s

:(

2011-04-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

I cant help writing about how Im feeling right now..... Im warning you, this is a sad post again....

It's been months since I last visited Andre.. I dunno, maybe Im just too much of a chickensht when it comes to facing problems. Tomorrow ill visit dre because tita net invited us and mom's being a nagger. I always tried to put off going back there but now I think Im left with no choice....

Been pretty busy myself since January. A lot has happened to me. It felt good to be sooo tired that once you get home, you would just go straight to your bed and sleep. It helped a lot. Thank you very much school and business!! I ddnt have those sleepless nights because of thinking too much.

Now it's weird..... I just stayed at home yesterday and today... It's weird that the moment I let my mind and body go idle, depression hits me again. Ive been crying for the past few days.. I just miss him so much.....
And it's.. so lonely.......

Hay.. I waana get busy again.....

2011-03-29T00:51:00.001+08:00

I miss you so much. Nakakapanghina na toh... This is one of those nights that I miss you so much. I cant sleep. I have to wake up early tom but I cant sleeeep. I wana talk to you. I wana hear stories from you. Jokes or just whatever like old times! Please tell me what to do. Please...

Please lord. Pleeease. Im begging..

to all my loved ones who.....

2011-03-13T19:35:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM0-ZU8njdo

Every day I wake up
I hope I'm dreaming
I can't believe this shit
Cant believe you ain't here
Sometimes it's just hard for a nigga to wake up
Its hard to just keep going
Its like I feel empty inside without you being here
I would do anything man, to bring you back
Id give all this shit, shit the whole knot
I saw your son today
He look just like you
You was the greatest
You'll always be the greatest
I miss you big
Cant wait till that day, when I see your face again
I can't wait till that day, when I see your face again...

Yeah... this right here (tell me why)
Goes out, to everyone, that has lost someone
That they truly loved (cmon, check it out)

Verse one: puff daddy

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hanging on the block for dough
Notorious, they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be (uh-uh)
Words can't express what you mean to me
Even though you're gone, we still a team
Through your family, I'll fulfill your dream (that's right)
In the future, can't wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh-huh)
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real, feelings hard to conceal
Cant imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living your life, after death

Chorus: faith evans

Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
Ill be missing you
Thinking of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
Ill be missing you

[puff] I miss you big

Verse two: puff daddy

Its kinda hard with you not around (yeah)
Know you in heaven smiling down (eheh)
Watching us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can't define (cant define)
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Making hits, stages they receive you on
I still can't believe you're gone (cant believe you're gone)
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living you're life, after death

Chorus

[faith evans] somebody tell me why

Interlude: faith evans

On that morning
When this life is over
I know
Ill see your face

Outro: 112

Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
Every night I pray, every step I take
[puff] every day that passes
Every move I make, every single day
[puff] is a day that I get closer
[puff] to seeing you again
Every night I pray, every step I take
[puff] we miss you big... and we wont stop
Every move I make, every single day
[puff] cause we can't stop... that's right
Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
[puff] we miss you big

addicted

2011-03-09T02:44:00.000+08:00

Soo addcited to Lady GAGA.

Then came Nicki MInaj my love..

THEN COMES FAR EAST MOVEMENT. I REAALLLY REALLLY REALLLY WANA GO TO THE CONCERT BUT NO ONE TO GO WITH!!!!!! :( :( =( =(

ANYONE!????? IM BEGGING!!!!!!!!!

IRONY.

2011-03-08T13:52:00.001+08:00

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe LIFE!!! Life is really full of surprises! Bizarre happenings! Irony! And all that destiny stufff!!! Okay here's the thing, 3 years ago, I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED TO GO TO THIS BEACH RESORT with "this" person... Like I already checked the accommodations and the whole nine yards. To cut the story short, THAT VACATION DIDN'T HAPPEN. Super annoyed and disappointed with what happened I already forget about it.

ANYWAY, So Like I said, Im into GLOBAL FUSION right now and we're gonna have a leadership training @ Laiya, Batangas. LA LUZ RESORT. When I found out about it, Something in my head strike cos resort name sounded familiar. I thought maybe a friend told me about it blah blah blah...

THEN JUST NOW, I FREAKING REMEMBER LA LUZ BEACH RESORT is THE RESORT I always planned to go to 3-4 years ago. I WAS LIKE DAMN!!!! Is this God working in my life!!??? And you know what they always say, EVERYTHING HAS ITS OWN TIMING!????????

Im like jo so freaked out cos ITS GOING TO BE ONE HELAVA GETAWAY and I so sure Im gonna learn so muuuuuuuuch!!!!!! (how to be a millionaire)

And yeah.. You forgot about who Im going to be with in this leadership training....

BIG FAT SECRET.

God. Im just so weirded out and anxious at the same time. 3 years of my life for the preparation for this getaway. I hope everything goes well... PLEEEASE LORD. PLEEEASE.

PS GOOD THING i BOUGHT A TEENY WEENY POLKA HEART BIKINI!!!! :)))))))

..

2011-03-07T14:31:00.001+08:00

I really wish I can go back to the past........ I want to save you soo freaking bad. I really wish.

One year from now. IM GONNA HAVE MY OWN (red/black) HONDA CITY

2011-03-05T14:19:00.003+08:00

Mark my words.

This is why I havent blog that much since January. This is what Im doing, busy getting rich! HAHAHA :D

HERE IT IS! The most EFFECTIVE, EFFORTLESS and SAFE slimming food supplement in the market today!!! LEAN AND FAB!!! In one week you could lose 3-6 lbs by natural breaking down of fats process...

For more info call/text me @ 0905-866-7192, IRENE AGUILAR

2011-03-02T09:56:00.004+08:00

First time to try blogging using my itouch!! Hehe hmmmmm well actually my day started with tears flowing and eyes sore! well it's okay no one can stop me from spreading the vibe! Oh lord please please heeeelp meee. Amen!!!

Bonnet. A novel. Part II

2011-02-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

Nakapagbasa ka na ba ng libro na may book I? book II or minsan pa nga may book III?

BOOK I

21 na ako ngayon. Feeling ko ito na ang start ng part II ng buhay ko. Saktong sakto eh, tignan mo, yung climax ng buhay ko sa book I ito yung guhong guho ang buhay ko. Nariyan ang sawi sa pagibig, pagkilala sa mga bagong kaibigan, at siempre nariyan ang pagkawala ng isang matalik na kaibigan. YAN ANG CLIMAX. Or pwede ring yung uminom ako ng napakitindi dahil sa lahat ng poblema ko tapos kinabukasan hindi ko maalala ang nangyari at sinabi na lang ng mga kaibigan ko kung ano mga kahihiyan kong ginawa, pag-iiyak na ginawa, kabobohan. kabaliwan. NIYAKAP YAKAP KO ANG EX BOYPREN KO DAW AT UMIIYAK AT SINASABING WAG MO KONG IWAN (tulad ng pagiwan na ginawa ng namatay kong kaibigan) Tangina!!!!! pag naalala ko lang gusto ko magtago sa t-shirt ko. GUSTO KONG MAGPANGGAP NA EW! HINDI AKO YON!!! Isama mo na ang pagsusuka sa tabi ng pool ng gabing iyon at ang pagsagot sagot sa propesor kong head ng aking kurso at PhD lang naman. Hindi ko mawari kung maganda ba na wala akong maalala sa gabing yon o hinde.

Yan ang book 1. Simula sa pinanganak ako hanggang sa nag 21st birthday ako ng PAOS at may sakit.

PALAKPAKAN. Para talagan nobela.

Swerte mo at nabasa mo tong kwento kon toh. KASI EPIC FAIL talaga ika nga. Pero okay na rin, natuto ako. SINO BANG HINDI! Natuto ako dahil muntik na rin akong mamatay sa kahihiyan. Putangina.

BOOK II.

Bakit ko nasabing book II? Dito ang character na si Bonnet ay sobrang nagbago na. Lumubog, lumagapak sa putikan, sumayad ang mukha sa papag, nagasgasan dumugo. Pero eto ngayon unti-unting bumabangon, nag-pa-pagpag, nagpapagaling. Alam kong malapit na ako dun. :)

Konting background lang, ngayon andami kong pinagkakabalahan. Akalaing mong nasa Networking ako ngayon at maniwala ka man o hindi ay kumikita na ako at HIGIT SA LAHAT NAG-EENJOY ako. KAhit na nakakapagod at nakakapuyat, WORTH it naman! Akalain mo ding si ex boypren pa anf Upline ko tas magkaibigan na kami. Abay malamang sya ang upline ko, walang mangyayari samin pare pareho kung may magiinarte pa samin. Basta ako goal ko this year, magkakotse sa birthday ko. DECEMBER 2011. MARK MY WORDDS MY FRIEND. Carry ko na ang puyat, pagtitiis, maarawan or kahit ano pa kung ang kapalit naman ay ang pag-abot sa mga pangarap ko. GOW NALANG. Kasama na din diyan ang pakikisama sa mga taong annoying. HAAY. Part na siguro ng life yon.

Another thing kung bakit Book II ay SINGLE PA DIN AKO! Isang malaking himala dai! Bakit? E putangina nga, ung mga umaaligid na lalake sakin nung mga nkaraang buwan sa book I ng buhay ko, kingina! Naunahan pa nila ako magka jowa! Lalo na yung isa, nakooooo naloka ako sa mga bola niya. Matamaan na matamaan. Pero narealize ko sa ganyan bagay, marami talagang lalaki ang hindi naman sineseryoso ang panliligaw. Tsk tsk. Masaya single pero malungkot. Malungkot dahil sa mga ibang bagay wala ako makasama. Anjan mga kaibigan at family pero iba kasi ang may boyfriend, 24 hours on call/duty yan pag may favor ka. Tsaka sayang naman ang pagmamahal ko, umaapaw na kailangang may pagbalingan! :)

Grabe talaga ang major major change ng buhay ko. BOOK II talagang maitatawag!!! At ngayon simula JAN 16, masasabi kong mas mahal ko na ang diyos at pamilya ko. Lalong lalo na ang magulang ko. NAkakatawa man dahil talagang may petsa pa, eh ganun talaga!!! HAHA!

Hay grabe buhay.... Ako kasi idealist ako. at mahilig mamilosopo. Andami dami kong naiisip about sa buhay. Minsan naiisip ko kung healthy pa ba ang too much thinking. Lalo na't kinikimkim ko. Ako talaga minsan lang magkwento. Pinipili ko pa ang kinukwentuhan ko ng deepest feelings ko. Bukod nalang dito sa blog ko dahil feeling ko naman wala akong kausap kundi ang monitor ng laptop ko. Buhay nga naman oh parang life! Looking back one year from now, hindi ko maiimagine na ganito pala magiging takbo ng buhay ko. Nakakatakot dahil bagong bago sa mga nakasanayan ko. Bagong bago dahil ngayon super mas naging independent ako, lumabas talaga ako sa comfort zone ko. Feeling ko si God din may pakana, tinulak ako sa nest ko. at ngayon alam kong lumilipad nako. Yung tipong hirap lumipad, pero basta alam kong lumilipad nako. Unti unti mamaster ko din toh, hanggang sa matutunan ko ng lumipad ng mataas.

WOW naging ibon pa tuloy ako sa book II ko...

Anyway, sana mapagpatuloy ko na ulit ang pagsusulat dito. Kung masugid kitang tagapag basa, dalawa lang ang ibig sabhin kung bakit hindi ako nagsusulat. Una dahil sa walang gaanong nagyayari sa buhay ko, pangalawa masyadong maraming nagyayari sa buhay ko na masakit, hindi ko maikwento... Ganun lang. Ngayon balik, pagsusulat. Masaya na ulit ako. KAhit minsan isang buong linggo umiiyak pag namimiss si Andre. Pero all in all okay na naman! Naghahanap lang ng company sa ibang tao .. Lungkut lunkutan, inarte ganyan.. hehehehe..

All in all. Excited! New book sa buhay ko. New chapters to come!!!! Cant wait to flip the pages! Kung pwede nga lang dayain at tignan kung kelan ako ulit magkaka jowa. haha joke. Lintik kasi na mga romantic movies toh. Ginagago utak ko! hmp! hehe joke..

Nakakatawa noh. Meron talagang mga characters sa buhay na akala mo habang buhay nanjan pero dumaan lang pala. MAgiiwan lang pala ng mensahe at aral sa buhay mo. Meron din mga characters na nakakairita pero at the same time, kulang pag wala sya. That at the same time you still come to love..

Love na love ko tong picture na toh... Kandila, dito nagdadasal talaga ako, mass toh e.

Na sa bawat hiling at mensahe ko sa itaas, sana maipadala ng usok na galing

sa kandila..... HAAAAAAAAAAAAY. I love me talagaa! kalurkei!

Ayun lang goodnight. Antok na. Labyu God :) God bless all!

:)

2011-02-15T00:38:00.001+08:00

I think Im feeling better now... :) I think Im also ready to post NICE and INTERESTING stories again.. :)

BTW First time single on a Valentine's day. Felt good! :)

P.S. Andre miss kita but I
think this time Im starting to
let you go.. I mean in a way
Im feeling better now..
Meet me in my dreams tonight..
Vday guft? Please? You promised
me flowers........ Im waiting,,

dream

2011-01-18T18:48:00.002+08:00

I miss you so much it's almost unbearable..... Will my life be forever incomplete now your gone? Every day I think about you, wondering where the hec are you right now. Wondering if you can still see us, hear us.....

Last night I dreamt about you. Weell you werent exactly there because it was a friend who I talked to. That friend told me that you can still see us. I asked her where are you right now she told me you are away..... So yeah you were kinda sending the message that you can still see us and hear us....

HAY.....
While I was reading my literature book, I stumbled upon this text. "Charlemagne believes these prophetic dreams are sent from GOD".

I miss you so much. If only I live in a fantasy world so I can do something to bring you back. I swear I will....

wow. like WOW.

2010-12-31T01:55:00.000+08:00

Pre-nuptial videos should be hot like this one! haha!! I cant believe Maggie Wilson got married at 21!! We are like on the same age! I should be engaged as well to a HOT RICH GUY like Victor Consunji who is by the way a CONSTRUCTION MAGNATE! damn girl congrats!!

I super love this video... Steamy. Sexy!
Controversial but for me this one hell of an artistic pre-nuptial video! Artistic in way that it stirs emotions and it's really unforgettable ya know. Besides it's a pre nuptial video!! They got married na nga eh! :D

facebook is such a bitch!!!

2010-12-27T02:32:00.000+08:00

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN HURT BECAUSE YOU SAW SOMETHING/SOMEONE IN FACEBOOK??

I know right!?? It sucks!! As much as you dont want to get affected by it, you just can't! It's because of that freaking newsfeed! haha!

Oh well. I had enough. Im gonna stay out of facebook as long as I can til such time that I BECOME an INDIFFERENT INSENSITIVE human being.

Besides Ill have the time to blog more and tweet more in twitter. :) That's all..
Dont worry Facebook, I shall return!

Happy Birthday Papa Jesus!!! Everyday for you!!!!!

2010-12-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

Hows your Noche Buena!???? :) My little cousins and tito and tita came and we all had dinner :) I wasnt able to take pics because I was so busy. eating. Last night was cool coz it was my first time to make spaghetti hahaha! I know I know spag lang yon, but for me it was a milestone! What can I say!?? Masaaraaaap! Kapangpangan toh boy! hahaha

After my relatives left I excitedly gave my presents to my family. I gave mom a bag and Im pretty sure Im gonna borrow it in the near future. I gave papa a shirt which ended up as a gift for my cousin because it was to "bagets" for my papa :)) I dont know what the hell I was thinking. Parang pang boyfriend yung t-shirt. HAHA. Good thing my gift for papa includes a hanky matching color to the shirt. And for my sister I bought her 2 awesome face mask from Etude house!! I actually wrapped 3 facial mask but the other day I was feeeling sooo stressed out so I took one facial mask. HAHAHA.

And of course I WAS SOOO HAPPY with the gifts Ive recieved from them because it was all cash!!!! YIPEEE!!!!!!!! =)) Im really saving so I can buy the ipod touch this january... :D

And yeah these cash came with inspirational messages and a book so Im really really happy about it! :D Those are what I need. CASH AND INSPIRATION!

THIS ONE IS THE FUCKING BEST!!!! GIFT WRAPPED WITH 500 BILL!! AHAHA I love my mom!!!!!! Nahihiya na ako sa kanya simula birthday ko dami na binigay sa akin!!

ampao!! ampao!! ampao!!! from papa mama and ate!

true dat papa!!! :)

I really like this booklet! filled with bible verses!

Happy with my Sbucks planner :D and STARDUST, 2 neckaces!

some weird necklace that you have to tie and tie. Im still figurin out how!! haha


I bought these babies as a gift for myself! See that cute heart over there? love life for 2011! Im still gonna buy DOLLAR SIGN for the other pair. Financial life for 2011! haha! :D :D

So yeah last night was awesome!! I was here in my room. Sippin wine! watching Stardust! eating cake and grapes!! Lights off and all!!!uuugh! It was the life!! It was really like I was celebrating for papa Jesus!! And to top it all, I recieved an authenthic EIFFEL TOWER keychain!!! UGHHH!!! Heavenly!! I know someday Ill go to Paris!! :D I wasnt able to take a picture though cos I kinda lost it in my things haha! :))

BASTA! last night was awesome! Though I was alone, I had fun watching and "celebrating" til 2am! haha! :D :D

oh my gosh

2010-12-24T13:05:00.001+08:00

Okay here's the thing. I don'e wanna show weakness to other people. My post last night is DISGUSTING! Talk about EMO to the nth level!! Hahahaha. Im thinking of deleting it coz it's so fucking emotional. Just thinking about it makes me blush with embarassment!!

So yeah. the only reason I wrote those stuff because I need it all out.. That's why I love writing. Those stuff I couldnt tell to anybody else... Which is kinda ironic coz all kinds of people can see that now... Even strangers?

UGH! I really want to delete it. But I guess lll just have to leave it there.. Hmmm.. What I felt last night was real... And you know maybe when Im truly happy again, I can look back and say " WOW I FELT THAT SHIT!????? GOD IM SO MUCH STRONGER THANK YOU VERY MUCH" hahahahahaha!

rainbow after every rain!! (more like super typhoon!)

AND NOW I FEEL BETTER I SWEAR!! =P I just wont wanna be stuck in the rot. It's Christmas tonight and I want a life make over / rehab. whatever. EVERYDAY FOR JESUS!! AMEN!!!!!!!

MEERRRRYYY CHRISTMAAAS YALL!!!!!!

... whats happening.

2010-12-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

Sobrang lungkot ko... Anybody there... Please save me. Im tired of crying.........

I miss my old self. I am usually a fun jolly person.. What happened to me....

I partied a lot lately. Since November Ive been partying my ass off every weekend and even on weekdays. Ive been really pushing myself to the limit with all of these sleepless nights....

My body couldnt even catch up. Ive been PAOS for the last few days and have cough and colds.

I started smoking again. I smoked during those fucking drinking nights. Im currently hating myself for it. fuck fuck fuck it!!!!

I hate myself for being so helpless, lonely and sad. I hate myself for being so fucking weak!! I hate myself for being such a crybaby!!! I hate how my eyes never get tired of producing tears!!

I hate how I miss andre so much! I hate how I miss Json so much. I hate that these people used to be my bestfriends and now.. I have no one.

Im so weak... I have no control over my emotions. I HATE IT.. I feel so lost. No one fucking understands.

A part of me died. I know it.
Awaken my soul!
Can anyone save me...

Ang sakit sakit na kasi.....

2011 wishlist :D

2010-11-06T19:51:00.001+08:00

OMG! Is it like 49 or 48 days to go before Christmas?? My most favorite season in the waaaaaarld!!!!! :D I know I know its November pa lang, but admit it, seeing Christmas lights and hearing those nostalgic Christmas songs somehow changes your mood. And of course, December is my birthday month! Oooooh! Im excited to buy gifts and recieve gifts already! :D Ans speaking of gifts, Im still thinking of what to buy for myself. This is going to be the first time I AM SINGLE since 2006 so this year will be kinda different. A lot different!

Actually Im kinda anxious about it cos yeah Im single and also this is going to be the first Christmas having a friend who passed away. Also, UST has super duper awesome Christmas lights displayed everywhere the campus and Im sure it would bring some memories of the past. Last year kase, during the month of December, this guy and I always hang out near the field. When I said always, I meant everyday!!! Sometimes near the Grand stand and play chess near the gigantic Chrismas tree. AAAAAWWWWWW. :( :( Ooooh gosh, past is passed right...

ANYWAY...... This is my wishlist for Christmas 2010

5. Covergirl lip tint or MAC pink lipstick

4. TOPSHOP shoes or any hot shoes!! I tried this topshop "sandals" last week and dayum! it loooks ssoooo fine on me!!!! HAHA I swear! Gosh! The price is good too ya know. P4000!!! =S

3. Belle de Jour 2011 power planner. My BDJ planner is my bestfriend thru out the year!!! I must must must definitely have the 2011 BDJ planner!

2. Ipod touch 4th gen. I tried the itouch 3rd gen last summer and the ipod nano (video) 5th gen last quarter. But I think this new ipod touch will satisfy my ipod madness... Loving the new cam/video feature!

1. HAPPINESS oh I wana correct that, JOY! I want joy in our home. In my family's heart. I want joy in my friends and loved ones heart. I know 2010 has been tough for some of us but I want the gift of the Holy Spirit to be within us always. Christmas is all about that! About genuine happiness and being grateful for still having your family to celebrate Jesus' birthday.. This may sound cheesy but you know as I ponder about my life, from all the tears I cried and pain Ive felt during this year, all that is important now is FAMILY and those friends who stick around no matter what....

PS my wishlist for my birthday is celebration with my friends with Patron on the rocks! or Jagermeister!!!!! HAHAHAHA! Partey partey!

AAAAND.... and hot boys like Ashton, Chuck Bass(ed westwick) and Efron!!!!

halloween partey (to be updated, gotta go kase)

2010-11-01T12:27:00.007+08:00

Halloween party last October 26 at Jayrin's place. Was fun of course dressing up and all that. All our make ups of course c/o Jay. hahaha! :D Nice night I had a blast!!! I always always love the food everytime I go to Reyes parties. uugggh! heavenly! :D

cant sleep yo!

2010-10-24T03:12:00.000+08:00

anu pa magagawa ng pagiyak?
kahit anung sigaw di mo marinig.
kahit anong isip di magbabalik.
hindi na makausap kahit humiling.

I cant sleep na naman. Normal sleep ko nowadays is between 2 to 5.. Anyway I miss posting HAPPY POSTS hehe.. I cant think of anything happy pa e, aside from I always get to see my CSA friends lately but then again, at the end of the day, BOOM!!! Same old thoughts.. Im really getting tired of being sad, I wana be awesome again! HE WOULD LIKE THAT! Be awesome like him. hehe. and the best advice ha gave me, POSITIVE OVER NEGATIVE. True dat!

IM AWESOME! YOUR AWESOME! GOD IS MOST AWESOME! :) :) Yeah? Yeah!!! Embrace positivity!!!!!!!!!!!!

my LIFE update

2010-10-22T13:20:00.007+08:00

OMG I cant believe I survived this first semester. I really thought I would get A FAILING GRADE. rather, many failing grades....

Remember I went to Davao and Gensan first week of September. I missed a lot of lessons and quizzes then. Missed 3 quizzes in Pol Dy subject and before the finals exam my Lit professor told me to study for the finals cos I missed a lot of lessons.

In my NSTP, I wasnt able to take, I think, 4 quizzes, homeworks and wasnt able to attend the orientation and Pasig run.

In my RESW (research) subject, I had A SUPER DUPER HEATED SIZZLING STEAMING ARGUMENT with my professor infront of the whole class. As in like I raised voice and all that shit. Shit.

During the finals week (week after Andre died), I didnt review for my exams cos I dunno, I didnt care about anything during those weeks.... And I was always tired and I had to finish 3 research papers at that time. Actually thinking about it now, I dont know how I pulled it all off..

Grabe this sem! Grabeng grabeng grabe!!!! Lalo ang finals week!! Grabe tong sem na toh. Putangina. STRESSED KUNG STRESSED ako the whole semester. Fuck. During the first half of it, I was like always crying because of.... secret! hehehe. And who would have thought that Id be crying again for some different and worse reason. ..HAY!!!!!!

Im sorry for all the cursing. This is just me, ranting and letting all my angst out. Hay. It's just, right now, I dont know where I stand. I dont know if Im happy or if Im okay or am I just pretending to be okay and just fooling myself with all the smiling. If I were to say that IM NOT OKAY then that's bad right? cos that would make me an optimist and who the hell wants to be called an optimist? And so what if I tell you that IM OKAY? That my friend is called lying. I dont want to be a liar!..... ON SECOND THOUGHT, I deserve to be happy right? HAAAAAAAAAY. shit Im going fucking crazy..... It really sucks to be always home alone and not have anyone to talk to. LITERALLY. Text, chat, phone, whatever you can think of! Like I want to go out with my girlfriends but if they werent busy, they are all in Manila!!! :(

I WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS!!! AND THEN BOND WITH THEM AND JUST LAUGH AND GIGGLE AND TALK ABOUT ANYTHING LIKE CUTE BOYS AND OTHER GIRLY STUFF LIKE EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE!

HAY NAKOOOOOO. Naiinis nako. NO matter what the fuck happens, POSITIVE PA RIN AKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yeah, this coming semester, I will get my shit together and just do my best again. One semester of shitness is enoough. Okay!? :)

WORD VOMIT: Seg way lang, sometimes I wish I have a boyfriend right now cos you know, you would think this is the best time to have one, so I can have a shoulder to cry on blah blah blah. But guess what, Ive realized just now, that I dont wanna meet him right now cos Im still a mess and I dont want him to see me like this and it would be awful if he'd try to heal all my pain and hurt. I think it would be useless because I and I reapeat, I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FIX THIS. and of course with God's help. hehehe. Ayun lang. bye.

Pero oo sana may ka-hug man lang ako at may cocomfort saken at umuulan pa oh! Dayum! hahaha. joke :)

dear dear andre....

2010-10-20T01:29:00.003+08:00

How are ya doin there? I guess you and Alfie are having the bestest time with Jesus and God and the angels. You guys were so mabait. Kaya kayo kinuha ng maaga eh noh? hehe joke.. Well I can joke around now, unlike before I dont even wanna see people laughing the first time I visted you at your wake..

Hay... I miss you soooo much. Yesterday morning I broke down and cry. I cried again like there's no tomorrow. The last mega rush of tears was during your burial. Shit that day sucked. Suckiest day of my life. My friends told me I look awful that day and they thought Id jump right in while they were bringing you down that 6ft hole..

I feel really sad cos I dont have anyone to talk to when Im feeling EMO.... Now youre the reason of my emo-ness. TSK! You told me that I was like your little sister already, your bestfriend. But best friends dont leave their friend just like that! You ddnt even let me see you or touch you or talk to you while you were in the ICU. God, that was so unfair. Super katampo! At bakit sa ibang tao na hindi mo naman kaclose nagpaparamdam ka.....

Who would take care of me now? You were one of the few people I always run to. Even though our relationship was not on the romantic side anymore, I know and you know we love each other soooo muuuuch! Like we only texted once a week or two, but whenever we see each other, it really felt good! Just talked and just laughed about things and not worry about anything... You were my comfort zone, did you know that?? Oh man, I think Im starting to cry again....

Remember when we were still starting off as couple, the time when you were sending ligaw signals, I know I told you this before that there was a guy who wanted to court me too. Honestly, HE WAS MY SUPER CRUSH. Hahaha! But like what I told you before, I asked for a sign if "kakaririn kita". The EVER FIRST UAAP GAME YOU ATTENDED, UST-Ateneo game, that was the time asked for that sign. I was first to be there with my UST friends and you arrived with your dad around the second half of the game already. We were texting and all that and you asked me where I was..... THAT WAS WHEN I ASKED FOR THE SIGN. I said to myself,

"PAG AKO NAHANAP NITO DITO SA BUONG ARANETA COLISEUM,,,, SIYA NA"

I cant remember if I gave a clue, but I think I didnt. AND OF COURSE YOU FOUND ME!!! LUCKY YOU!!!!! hahahaha! That was the start of everything........ I mean the whole GF-BF relationship thing. Cos we started flirting since our senior year in highschool. ahahahaha!!!! :)))

ANYWAY... I wish I could go back to those times when things arent complicated.... But what can I do?? .... Hayyy.... Well you know what, Im very happy and thankful that I played a big role in your life. Im thankful and honored that God let me love you and you love me back. It was awesome. Although we had our rough times, months we didnt talk. I am thankful still that YOU MADE THE MOVE TO BROUGHT OUR FRIENDSHIP BACK AND MADE THINGS RIGHT...... And yeah, I wanna thank you for teaching me how to swallow my pride and how to say sorry. You were always like that you say sorry just even if it was not your fault just to make things okay....

Haaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....

Nga pala.... Here's a poem, na hindi nagrarhyme :)

Mamimiss ko ang makapal mong kilay at mapungay mong mata.

Ang mga mata na tumititig at tumitingin sa panahon ng ligaya't lungkot.

Mamimiss ko ang gaspang ng iyong mga kamay na puro kalyo.

Ang mga kamay na kumikiliti at humahawak sa amin...

Mamimiss ko ang iyong mga biceps at triceps na feel na feel mo.

Ang mga muscle na napapadama ng init ng iyong yakap at mga akbay.

Mamiss namin ang pag lakad mo na patingkayad.

Ang mga lakad na nakikita namin pag kasama ka sa aming gala.

Mamimiss namin makita ang iyong labi na parang pang niggah.

Ang mga labi na masarap tignan sa twing ikay nakangiti at tumatawa.

Mamimiss ko ang boses mo na sobrang laki at babaw.

Ang boses na nagparating ng mga masasaya mong kwento at jokes na corny.

Mamiss namin ang pag arte mo ng gay at pagsayaw mo ng gay.

Ang mga mismong bagay na naghatid ng sobra sobrang saya.

Higit sa lahat. Mamiss kita.. Lahat lahat sayo, ang buong ikaw...

Ang ikaw na tunay naming minahal. Tunay na kaibigan.

So... I think it's time for me to say goodbye then? Though I dont want to, like I have a choice... Remember this post??? I CAN SAY THAT NO MATTER.. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU GOT MY BACK.... Malakas ako sayo eh! hehehehe :) Nyty... Enjoy up there okay!! Look after tita net, tito boy, pb, jake and vincent. and me! and the rest of your friends and fam! :D Youre an angel now right? WOOOSHOOOOO!!!! hahahaha feelingero! :) Bye bye...

Miss ya. Love ya negro.

PS! Oy sa valentines day

nagpramis ka!!!! Flowers ko

ah!? hehehe.. Praktis ka na

kung panu gagawin mo. hehe

"YOU were my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoyed the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together."

my ANDRE post part I

2010-10-19T17:09:00.002+08:00

I kept on delaying this post cos…… the fact that to even look at Andre’s pictures hurts, what more to relive the painful memory of his death and then write about it…. Ughhhh……. Here goes…

He was a classmate back in 3rd year highschool.

A seatmate/cheatmate back in my senior year, again in highschool.

Became my crush.

My textmate during the summer 06. We called each other panget, btw.

August 2006. He was a manliligaw during the first semester of my freshman year in college.

Then became a boyfriend for 2 years and few months. (SO MANY MEMORIES DURING THESE YEARS, I WOULD END UP WRITING A BOOK)

July 2009. We broke up. Became my most hated person.

Then became my enemy………

He became a stranger for a few months.

May 2010. Then he started building our burnt bridge.

He became my friend again.

Became a chat buddy.

JULY 6 2010, helped me out with my thesis. Gave me pink gay ballpen.

August 10 2010. Watched inception with Dre. He was so funny we were arguing whether Leo was in Limbo.

August 13 He became a companion when going home from Manila to Laguna.

Was my FB- Flick Buddy.

Sept 11 ’10 – ate at Greenwich, stayed at my place, then went to a party. I REMEMBER HE WAS TEASING ME, that I should move on na daw! (which is matagal na akong moved onsakanya a year ago pa. ahaha) And lage nya sinasabi first love never dies! Nagaasaran lang kme. Inaasar nya ako lage. Ako naman tinatarayan ko sya hahahaha.

Few months ago he officially DECIDED I was his bestfriend.

He also said I was like his little sister.

Then he became the best friend indeed.

SEPTEMBER 18, 2010 – the very last time I saw him. We were supposed to watch Resident Evil but decided to just hang out at a coffee shop. We talked and talked and laughed and laughed for hours. He was making kulit and kiliti and I was like SUPER TARAY to him. =) He confessed all his naughty escapades with girls and I didn’t feel any awkwardness or anything. It came natural that we were talking like we were TRULY SUPER DUPER BEST OF FRIENDS….. I was telling him all my heart aches at that time and he advised me that BEING SINGLE WAS GREAT. He was super happy and he felt like he was the most perfect guy ever. He kept on telling me that we really have the chemistry and that he loved my personality. Gusto nya daw sa next GF nya yung kaugali ko, pwera nalang sa gilagid at ilong ko DAW. WALANGYA TLGA hehehe…. And then he dropped me to my house though I insisted that I can go home alone…

Then he texted me that we should see each other the next weekend . He said he would prepare an AWESOME PIZZA for me…And we’d watch an awesome movie on their awesome HD flatscreen tv……..

SEPTEMBER 24 – I talked to him in FB… I told him to deactivate my account. He did. And then he gave his facebook password to me… We were suppose to see each other at a party that night but I didn’t go cos I was too tired already from school…..

SEPT 25- supposed to be THE PIZZA MOVIE DAY….. But he ddnt come to my house…. I found out he got a hang over from the last night’s party…….. I texted him, BARBERO KA TALAGANG NIGGER KA……… my last text to him….. When I talked to her mom the other day, they toldme they already had prepared for “our pizza day”, bought ingredients and stuff…… Sad to say, he didn’t come….

………….. Then came October 3, 2010…2.30am. A car crash happened. Alfie, our other HS batchmate, died on the spot. Vincent, Dre's cousin who was sitting infront survived. He heard Dre moaning.... They rushed them to Asian hosp. Dre was in coma. Doctors said only a miracle could save him. CSA batchmates, Dre's Ateneo and Katip friends, UP friends, family.... all of them were them..... except for me.. All this was happening and I didnt have any FREAKING IDEA. I got to read all the text messages from friends @ 2pm in the afternoon...... I was shocked. I didnt know how to react or feel and being in some freaking far away place, I was helpless.... I called Cleng immediately. and my mom. and Andee... sabi nya, one day or 2 days nalang itatagal ni Dre.... I just couldnt believe that. I know him and I know that he's a fighter. Andre and I love the quote, "It aint over til it's over" and once he said to me, "I aint givin up"... I knew that he can pull through........ I was wrong.

6PM-ish Cleng called. She was crying already. Sabi nya.. "wala na sya... wala na sya".. wala ako masabi for like a minute. I kept asking her di nga? Di pwede yun. And then.... I just broke down........

Sept 30 to Oct 6 - I was Isabela having a class immersion. It was an awful feeling to be thousands of miles away from that friend your truly love. It sucks that you cant do anything but cry and hope for the better. There was no signal on that place so I was having a hard time connecting to people. I was so mad and helpless.. Di ko man lang sya nakita nahawakan sa ICU. Buti pa ang mom ko andun….. EVERYONE WAS THERE EXCEPT ME……. Well I guess there was a reason why God didn’t let me see Dre in the hospital. Everyone keeps on telling me that it was devastating to see Dre when he was at the ICU with all the tubes and all. AGH SHIT… AYOKO NA TALAGA MAGSULAT AT PAGUSAPAN PA ITOOOOOOOOO…… :((((((((

OCT 6 I had to wait for 3 days before seeing him…. We couldnt not get tickets to Manila.. Upon arriving in Manila, my bestfriends Elai and Cleng and I immediately went to Dre’s wake…. When we arrived there, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t stand. My whole body was shaking… I saw his tarp, his handsome face on the tarp, I couldn’t help but break down……… They told me to stay outside for a bit and take a deep breath….. Then for the second time I tried to go near to him… His mom saw me and hugged me and walked me to ANDRE….. (tangina naiiyak n naman ako ngyn kaya ako na magsulat e!!!!!!!) and yeah I saw him… He was different… Evvrything was just different and all so hard to bare…. I creid and cried for like an hour….. I just cried……………………………..

Oct 8 , 2010 program for Andre…. I cried again the moment I arrived at his place…. Then during the pogram for Dre, his mom called to me and made me sit infront… I met Dre’s cousins. I know almost all of them from Dre’s kwento…. It was such a nice feeling to know that A LOT of people love dre so much….. I had to go home around 1am… We were supposed to stay there for the burial the next day,. Di ko kaya e.. Di ko talaga kaya magstay. …

Oct 9 2010… Ayun na… mass.. Then nilibing… HAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Di ko na kaya… Di ko na kaya tapusin tong post ko… Basta nailibing na…. Tas I dunno everything was a blur to me.. Evrything… The only thing that I could remember was that I STAYED THERE LONG…. I just couldn’t leave him…. Basta I just stayed for few minutes.. Yun lang ayoko na magkwento about sa libing………. I cant continue this anymore.....

Ill have my next andre post.... one of these days.. I will still gather the courage to write. bye.

wait lang DRE........

2010-10-08T11:54:00.000+08:00

grabe ka. puro ikaw nalang nasa blog ko. wait lang gagawan kita malupit na post... wait lang tlga....... I LOVE YOU REST IN PEACE SAY HELLO TO JESUS FOR ME....

pero barbers ka.

tangena andaya mo tlga barbers........... bat ung ibang tao ngpaparamdam ka........ andaya daya mo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hindi mo pa ako inantay sa hospital!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! huhuhuhuhuuhu............ bat lage mo nlng ako pinapaiyak.......................................... i miss u love u negro faggot

SEPTEMBER 23, 2010 - want or need? RIDING SOLO!

2010-09-29T12:00:00.002+08:00

I want to make a confession. Ever since I was in 2nd year highschool I cant remember a moment when I dont have suitors or a fling or a boyfriend. Im not here to brag but my point is, WHY was I like that before? And then now I have the answer to my questions. I needed em boys. I liked to be adored. I like the fact that someone's there to "serve" you or to care for you. I liked it when someone's making hatid or sundo. I liked to be wanted and told that Im pretty. I liked having a guy with me and tell to the world that I have an arm candy. Gosh those days..... I felt like a player and I broke hearts.

Dont get me wrong, I never got physical (holding hands etc.) with these boys except of course with my 2 past "seroius" relationships.

INSECURE. I was insecure. I needed boys attention to remind me that I am beautiful. I needed them to fill up my empty love tank which I have come to realize that ONLY GOD AND I can fill up. Siguro nga Ive matured a lot now. I dont go out getting smashed out /drunk-head-over-heels at parties or I dont smoke anymore cos my friends are smoking. I dont walk around plotting a great revenge to that person who caused me intense pain. Unlike before I was an all out rebel/wild doing things I know can be offensive or hurtful to some.

Now it's different. I want to be alone. I choose to be alone. If I want to, in just one phone call or even a text, I can have a boyfriend. BUT NO. I dont wanna waste my time and energy playing around. Im not gonna settle for anything less. I believe that some things are WORTH HOLDING OUT FOR. And this is one of those.

I may be joking around with friends about my crushes and guys but seriously speaking, I don't want to get involve unless that person awakens my soul again. MEH GANOOOOOOON hahahaha! I want my next relationship to be really special and awesome, and then by then ALL THE PAIN AND WAITING WILL BE WORTH IT! :)

ANyway last friday I was feeling lonely cos I was to go home ALONE. And then in a matter of minutes I realized that DAMN! I am an independent girl and I can go home alone without a guy. right!? :D I mean hello!!!!!!!!!! This world is not about boys,relationships,etc.

You know what Im really happy that Im back to my old self. FUN AND FEARLESS. HAHA! I thank GOd that I am now experiencing peace in my heart. Now Im still on the process of filling up my love tank and it feels good. Actually I really love the page in facebook which says: IN A RELATIONSHIP with GOD!! I super liked it! :) SO YEAH THATS IT....

Next Thurs we'll be going (immersion) to Isabella with my blockmates! Im sooo excited to bond with friends! hehehehe! Anggaling nga e, in a month I get to go out of town and ride a plane twice(2x)! Practice na ba ito sa pagiging traveler ko in the future!??? Anyway gotta go sago!
Have class. God bless!

PS Im donning a cute japanese look with eyeliner and all that and wearing a cute big black&gold floral hair accessory that holds my hair up. LOVEEEEEEEET! :D

SEPTEMBER 21 2010 anggago siyet!

2010-09-29T11:57:00.001+08:00

Nakakainissss!!!!!!! Bumibili ako kanina ng cheesesticks at gulaman sa tapat ng dorm ko kaninang uamaga tapos sa harapan ko kase may dalawang mga panget na babae. Di ko na sasabihin kung anong course nila pero naka blazer sila na itim at yellow ang blouse nila!! HAHA!

Narinig ko nalang bigla na sinasabi nung isang babae sa kaibigan nya na "yung bag mo.. yung bag mo".. Yun pala nasa harapan ko ung bag nung babae! Tas bigla naman niyang knuha yung bag nya. TANGENA. Nanahimik ako bumibili ng cheesesticks at gulaman kong worth 5 pesos!!!!!!!!!!!! Wala lang ako sa mood magreact kase angtagal ko din inisip kung anu yung sinasabi nung babae sa kaibigan nya AT ung dila ko di pa masyado magaling at baka pag binara ko yung babae, mabulol ako bigla mas nakakahiya yon.

TANGENA wala ako akong balak NAKAWAN OR KUNIN yung CHEAP bag ng kaibigan mo! Ampapanget nyo! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Nangigilaiti talaga ako bumalik sa dorm tapos ayun di ko nalang pinansin except ngayon. I MEAN WTFFFF!!!!!!!! INSULTO BADTRIP. If I know walang mananakaw dun, laman lang ng bag nung babae tisyu ng jalibi or KFC at cellphone niyang nokia 5110 na may backlight pa! GOSH ANG RUDE!

Porket ba naka boxer shorts ako and t-shirt mukha ng akong magnanakaw!!? LECHE. Ang fresh fresh pa naman ng mukha ko at sarap sarap ng gising ko! HMP!

INHALE. EXHALE. RELAX.. :)

SEPTEMBER 15, 2010 icecreaaaaam plsssss!!!!!?? :D

2010-09-29T11:55:00.001+08:00

Guess what I did last night??!??!?!? I got my tongue pierced!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAYUM BABY!!!! I did it!!! I cannot believe it! GOsh I'm so hot and awesome hahaha! I cant believe I did it! and I feel good!!!!

(just give me this one time to brag ok? Im just sooo thrilled!)

Anyway, I wanted to to have my tongue pierced since July (but technically I wanted it since I was in highscool haha). I was already at the tattoo shop last July but I was short on cash, so yeah I backed out. Well to tell you the truth I was still kinda unsure about the idea and was like scared to death. Months passed and it was still in my head. So since di ko na sya makalimutan, I decided to just go for it yesterday since I had the free time and have enough dough.

The original plan yesterday was just to buy gift for my papa and I was still thinking of getting it done next week or next next or next next next haha. BUT WHAT THE HEC RIGHT.. I kept on putting it off and then look what happened it took me months!!

At the tattoo shop I asked Kuya if he still remembers me cos the last time we were there, he said he'll give me a discount. HE DID! haha. As he was sterilizing the tools, John (good friend & brotha of my friend) and I just sat there and waited. I kept silent because I wanted to free my mind and calm myself. I don't like myself when Im panicking cos I get super arte!!!! My friend was like making asar (omg so conyo) but seriously I really wanted to keep silent and just think of nothing but the song playing in the itouch. GUESS WHAT SONG it was?? I CAN TRANSFORM YA!!! hahahahaha!

Until the piercing part, I just listened to that song. I don't know why I wasn't nervous maybe because I just want it done and over with it. Though the piercing part was scary, especially that I already have an idea of what will happen cos I already search videos of it in youtube, I just chilled out haha... There were no anesthesia or piercing gun for it, everything was mano mano....

Kuya used a clamp.
Then checked if it was in place above and underside the tongue.
Then pierced it with a needle.
Then had to close the ring under the tongue.

(We took videos of it Ill just update this blog with pics as well when I get home....)

The hard part was sticking your tongue out while waiting for him to close the tongue ring. The piercing part was not painful. There was a sting but that's it. Getting blood sample at the tip of the finger and then squeezing it is waaaaaaaaaaaaay painful than tongue piercing. Well, that's just me, I kinda take pleasure in pain. JOKE! haha joke. masochist? hahaha. Just kidding. Maybe it's because I already have lots of experience with needles and when I was a senior in highscool I had my ears pierced at the cartilage part and it was more painful. On the piercing part ha!!

The aftermath of this whole piercing thing is hard! I had to buy Oracare and all that stuff. Last night I had an icecream for dinner and my gosh DEFINE HASSLE. It hurts when you eat. It hurts when you talk. Like if you can hear me talk now, I TALK LIKE AN EFFIN' KOLEHIYALA, like I have braces times 5! My lips feels so dry I cant wet it with my tongue. Brushing my teeth is thrice the normal brushing time. This morning I bought LUGAW and it took me HOURs to finish it. I was starving but the struggle to want to eat fast but you cant, was exhausting. I started eating at 9 and finished around 1030. Started out as breakfast ended up as brunch. The only thing thats bugging me since I had this tongue ring is that I have an oral report in my Art class on Friday!!!!!!!!! I talk like I have a lisp!!!!

Anyway Ill just have to pull that off on friday whether I like it or not. I chose this and I have o take responsibility for it... I remeber when I was a kid I was amazed with Scary Spice of Spice girls cos she had tongue ring too. In highschool, when I heard some girl had it, I was like "wow". When my bestfriend had it three years ago, I wanted it so baad too! I don't know why I like it, I just find it hot for SOME GIRLS. Take note: some. I hope Im one of those girls. HAHAHA.. I asked my friend if it looks good on me and he said 94%. He said, he couldve said 98% but then I wouldnt believe him. And he was right! :))

This coming sunday is my papa's bday. I'm really not sure how they would react... We'll see right? :) Anyway I gotta go. Can't wait to drink something cold!!!!! BYE Have a nice day and God bless! PICTURES and VIDEO SOON!

General Santos city part 1 (party party!!)

2010-09-27T14:21:00.002+08:00

If you're wonderin what were we doin in Gen San it was because my mom used to live there during her highschool days. from Kidapawan city to Gen San took us like 4 hours of travel...Anyway mama knooows a lot of peole there and I she always go to GenSan every summer I think.... The whole time spent in GenSan were almost about parties. eating. and more parties. I dunno if you noticed but in some of my pics you can see that Ive gained a few pounds! hehehe! Also Sept 5 was suppose to be the start of TUNA FESTIVAL nfortunately they moved it to mid september..

1. So here are the party people yall!!!! Tito Baki's bday :)Uhmm I met few of my mom's friends. And met a few boys :)))

2. Tito uhhhmmmmm... I forgot his name. Tito ______ bday :) Meet Plok plok!!! The cutest kid in town!!!! :D See the cute billiard cake??? The bday boy or should I say man, has a daughter whose business is making cakes!! HA! I already played with that cake during the aftenoon when we had our lunch! nyahahaha!

3. Tita Bing bing Kwan's pizza party!!!!!! THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST PARTY EVR BECAUSE HER HOUSE IS THE BEST AND BIGGEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL HOUSE EVERRRR!!!! Sorry for the capslock cos I reallly need to put emphasis and Im not exaggerating. :) Actually it was a compound, there were I think 5 houses inside the 4000sqm compound and those houses really have an awesome architectural design. It sucks because you cant see the beauty of the house but if you were there MAPAPAMURA KA SA GANDA NG LUGAR..... Im usually a tactful person pero I told to tita Bing, "Pede po ba mag pa ampon?" or nagbibiruan kami nila ate " Hay grabe gabi na, wala na magoovernight na tayo dito" orrrr when the time my sister lost her camera batteres,"Nako pooooo di po kami aalis dito sa lugar na ito hanggang di namin nahahanap ang battery ni ate, kahit po abutin kame ng isang taon"...... WAHAHAHAHA

the first house :D

the 3rd house infront of pool!


thats meee! hahaha

gazebo somewhere athe center of the whole compound

the 2nd house :)

hello pine trees!

ate , mik and me!


on the left area is the tent where we ate, on the middle is the gazebo, behind it is the pool and on the right side is the 3rd house. Where we stood is some kind of rock-made platform, maybe this is where they hold other parties. hahaha!

oldies

play house!

Totoo naman kase.. Just being there makes you wanna just stay there and live there and invite your Manila friends for a an awesome party.... There's a pool and not your typical pool cos the tiles were like royal green something. Basta! I cant explain it!!!!! There's a gazebo in the compound! Jacuzzi! Play house! Garage for the cars!!and hold your breath.... THERE ARE FREAKING PINE TREES IN THE COMPOUND!!!! God.. being there at that place was like being out of the country. The whole place was like a 5 star resort!! To be honest, I got really inspired just being there at that place. I cant help but get in touched with my imagination hihi! We've been to Pacquiao's mansion during the day but hell, this place is soo much waaay better. Waay better than any house Ive ever seen...

4. Party with Peter, Nico and Mik!! :D :D Went arouund the city, bar hopping... Then we just ended up at Jmix. The club owned by Pacquiao.

BBQ MUNA BAGO PARTY!!

enjoy!!! :D bbq! bbq pusit! bbq leimpo! lechon kawali! lechon tuna panga! AWESOMEEEE!

Remember Mik??? She actually stayed with us when she took a vacation here in Manila. Check out out this link http://youlovebonnet.blogspot.com/search/label/cousins, I posted pics of us 3 years ago! Can u imagine that! I never thought Id be the one visiting her at GenSan

DAVAO - KIDAPAWAN city

2010-09-27T12:50:00.002+08:00

Last Sept 2, 2009, mom, ate and I went to Davao city! :p I was a little scared of flying that morning cos it was really raining hard. You wanna know something weird? I love traveling and airplanes but somehow I kinda get scared when Im in it already. Is it because Im claustrophobic? well I dont know. Ironic. Anyway one thing I always experience when Im at the airport is that they always mistake me for a korean/chinese or whatever chinky eyed foreigner. The staff asked if I was a korean. Some chinese guy asked me questions in chinese which of course I didn't understand so I just walked out on him. HAHA. And then a really embarassing thing happened to me, I bumped into a flight attendant and sent her bag fying. lol.

We arrived at Davao around 12 noon and we were welcomed by my cousin Mama A. after checking in we went straight to eat at this popular BBQhan restaurant, PENONGS. I wasnt really satisfied with their food it was like eating at Mang Inasal lang. After eating we just rested for a while in the hotel room and then went straight to CROCODILE FARM. It was okay there a lot of crocs of course! haha. And then the really cool thing there is you can hold a baby croc and have your pics taken for only 20 pesos.hehe. Croc farm is like a mini zoo cos they have diffrent kinds of animals there like tigers and monkeys and birds, etc.

After Croc farm, we went to this butterfly farm. Butterfly farm in Davao is much better than the butterfly farm in Bohol. I dunno but I think there are more flying butterflies and a lot of butterflies having sex. hahahaha. It was funny because those butterflies mating are so intertwined that you can touch them and they wont fly away or even react. Awesome. One thing that I really enjoyed here is their SWING! It was the best swinging eperience of my life! haha!

We had dinner with my cousins ate Ichi and mama A and this guy whose name is Jason, the son of my mom's bestfriend at a filipino restaurant and I had a blast eating cakes, lechon kawali, hito, liempo, and mooooore! After that we went to this party place in davao and had a videoke night out. Mom ordered a pitcher of margarita and I just realize it's weird toasting and drinking maragarita with your mom. HAHA!

_____________________________________________________________________________

On our second day in Davao, we had to wake up really early to see the Philipine eagle at the Phil eagle center. I wasnt really excited about the eagle thing cos I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH instead of seeing caged eagles from afar. Anyway the place is really big it's like a forest of some kind and here there are also different kinds of animals you can see. And yeah I didn't know that EAGLES ARE HUGE like their wingspan can reach 6ft!!! Then again, it didn't excite me because eagles were caged and what I want is a close encounter with them. HAHA. The awesome thing that I really enjoyed here is the DURIAN EATING! Outside the eagle center is the tindahan of tiangge. I FELL IN LOOOOOOVE with that place after eating like more that half a dozen of Durian!!!

______________________________________________________________________________

We had lunch at the city and what can I say about Davao..... Hmmm... Davao is like a mini quezon city only cleaner and less populated. hehe! and yeah I love Davao because it's overflowing with taxi cabs!!! and I supeeeeeeer love DAVAO for its over supply of DURIAN!!!! hehehe.. At around 5 pm, we were fetch by my pamangkin, Ichi, who happens to be my age (20), who happens to have a 1 year old baby...and that my friend means that I AM A FREAKING LOLA already! DAYUM!!!!!

We traveled from Davao city to Kidapawan city for 2 hours. Here in Kidapawan is where my tita Coke lives. We stayed at her house for 2 days. To sum it all up, my stay at her house is a two day heaven of eating RAMBUTAN, DURIAN, MARANG, LANSONES and many other yummy food like picnic and pritong baboy and more! And oh, my pamangkin Gero is a super awesome drummer! His lolo, (tito Chito) is an oldschool rocker so when Gero was still a kid, he already taught him to play drums. Now I think Gero is 15? and he can do drums of any song you want! He even taught me and my sister how to! AWESOME!! :D

2010-09-15T11:51:00.001+08:00

:)

2010-09-13T13:44:00.003+08:00

SHIT. I can't log in my laptop. There's something wrong with the Windows verification blah blah and I think it needs to be checked out by people at the Computer farm. :(

Ill make kwento about my DAVAO-KIDAPAWAN-GEN SAN trip SOON. Sana this week? :) Pag okay na laptop... BABOOSH!

Don't follow me asshole

2010-08-31T13:06:00.008+08:00

"We long to be found, hoping our searchers have not given up and gone home. But I no longer hope to be found. Do not follow me! Let’s just be fabulously where we are and who we are, You be you and I’ll be me, today and today and today, and let’s trust the future to tomorrow. Let the stars keep track of us. Let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies! "

— Love, Stargirl

I almost cried when I read this. JOKE! hahaha. I am not an EMO(sucks) anymore :). On the serious note, I don't usually believe in fate nor destiny stuff but you know what... I believe that there are no accidents. It was no accident that when I wished for you to look at me, you did. It was no accident when at one time, it was raining hard and I was feeling really bad, I prayed to God I wanna see you, then suddenly you passed by.

Alam mo yung kay Popoy at Basha, ganun inisip ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "TUMINGIN KA LANG DITO, IBIG SABIHIN MAHAL MO PA AKO.." AY TANGENA tumingin nga si gago... NAKAKATAWA at NAKAKAHIYA tumatakbo sa utak ko kung iisipin mo..

Those were one of the crappiest feelings I ever felt in my life. Not knowing if you're just desperate enough to think those were not accidents and then having also an inch of hope, that maybe, just maybe, our souls seemed to connect in some way. So close to touch yet so far to reach. I hate thinking too much!

I hate that I am not even close to hating you. But this I know for sure, I'm surrendering. I'm surrendering ALL to GOD. I lift up my past and my future. Like what the quote above said,
"Let’s just be fabulously where we are and who we are, You be you and I’ll be me, today and today and today ". I don't know if we'll meet or not, I just don't care anymore. I up for the challenge and I'm more excited for the many good things coming my way!

LOVE. MYSELF. TODAY!!! CARPE DIEM!!!!! IM A FREE BITCH BABY!!!!!!!

Anyway enough drama. Too much drama makes me GAG. :) Anyway Im starting to get excited for my vacation!!!!

Im a little worried Id miss many lessons. LITTLE WORRIED lang. :)

HELLO DURIAN!!! HELLO DAVAO!! Hello General Santos city, home of Pacquiao!!! Ma e expereience na rin kita!
(davao at gen san, hindi si Manny! hahahaha)

WEEEEE!!!!! Sana madami gwapo! LOL. landi. ;p

5 Major major CHANGES. Thank you thank you soo much!

2010-08-29T10:46:00.013+08:00

Hola amigos amigas!! Wow! I super duper miss writing here!! God has it been like a year now??!? Well now I promise to you and especially to myself that I will post something here in my blog at least once a week. :) Sounds good? Sounds awesome to me!!

To be honest, not writing felt like losing a piece of puzzle in my life. I didn't have enough courage to write because my life for the past couple of months was like a fast swirling blur that caught me off guard. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor weeping like a fucking drunkard with the worst kind of hang over.

MEH GANON!?? I don't really know how to tell everything here so I just thought of coming up of 5 MAJOR MAJOR changes that has happened to me :) I think this is also the best time to start blogging again, as I am going thru my own life rehab. ARYTY here goes...

MAJOR CHANGE NO 1. THE HAIR.

HAHA! Okay, mababaw lang toh, pero ang buhok ko

ang unang major major change. YES, I rebonded my hair!! Ironic because I spent my half of my allowance for it and it sucks cos people barely noticed it because my hair is REALLY REALLY straight in the first place. I don't know how my mom tallked me out of rebonding my hair, but I wanna congratulate her for being a certified manipulator. Kidding. My original plan was to dye my hair but my mom and the parlorista said that my hair's dry and that it would be better to just rebond it. Don't get me wrong okay, I love the result naman! Mukha lang naflat ang buhok ko. haha.

MAJOR CHANGE NO 2.

I had a fling before summer totally ended. It was love at first sight. The touch was amazing. The whispers were tingling. The first time I saw my baby he shone brighter than Edward Cullen for God sake! I heard angels sang allelujiah. Embarrassing as it may sound but the day I laid my eyes was also the day I grabbed and played. I was clingy and I adored the chiseled body. From the moment I wake up til the moment I close my eyes I was with my baby. Baby accompanied me even in the washroom. Hihihi.... It was true love. I sang and I danced with joy! No dull moment with this embodied perfection. Sometimes people would hear loud noises but it was just us having fun.

Sad to say every good moment has to end. They said that if you love, set em free. and I did.. It was the most memorable three months of my life. Thank you and I love you for being there when no one else does. Looking forward to touching you again baby! Youurrr so hot! Damn!

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MAJOR CHANGE No. 3 The GIRLS

I don't know if they know how much they mean to me, but yes I love these girls. Even in the class, they are referred to as The Girls. :)) I am ever thankful to these people. Smart, sexy, funny and independent ladies! Sometimes misunderstood and judged by people, but if you really take the time to see beyond the physical (which are good as you can see), then they get even better. Im glad to be part of their lives and glad that I am part of theirs. Gluck to us bitches! :)

(Tiffany- prettiest, Jayrin- sexiest, Joan-loveliest voice, Angela-sweetest, ME, Renz -girliest and Xien-most creative)

MAJOR CHANGE No. 4 SINGLEHOOD

Okay ive been riding solo since May/June aaand how should I say this, I think I'm doing pretty fine. :) Aside from the stupid things I did in the name of love and the humiliation I experienced in the name of love, I can say I'M SUPER FINE BABY! Better than ever!! I can't believe I am now single for 3 months!! Haha! Well right now, I really really wanna focus on myself. 4 years of my lifetime was spent loving that I forgot about loving myself. GASGAS NA YAN SASABIHIN MO. cliche may it sound but true! When I see lovers I don't drool over having a boyfriend. I get kilig pero that's just it.. No more, more less.. hahaha joke. On the serious note, I'm happy that I loved. As what the famous quote says "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all ".

LETTER TO YOU my future love!

Haaaay.... Kung sinu mang ang future husband/true love ek eklavu ko... Please take care of yourself. :) I know that sooner or later our lives will intertwine and I am here just waiting for you and being patient. Pero kung may time ka, daan ka naman sa UST advance date tayo. HAHAHA! Anu kaya ginagawa mo ngayon? Anu kaya itsura mo? Magkamukha kaya tayo? HAHA. Para na akong gago dito.. DES

PERADO. Sana di ka nagyoyosi at konti lang inom inom mo para mahaba haba kitang makakapiling sa mundong ito.. Okay...!

Im sorry for being hopeless romantic but this book I am reading right now inspired me to write that foolish letter above. It's about the love story between a 16t

h century "prince" and a 20th century modern girl. hehehe! A fun read! It stirred my imagination.. hehe ANYWAY! So yes Im saving up my positive energy to the man of my dreams. And yes I'm just gonna enjoy my life now with my family and friends! Weeell to be honest I miss the company of a boyfriend but you know, life moves on right? I'm just gonna wait for that someone to awaken my soul and I am sure that it'll be worth the pain and wait. MEH GANON!!!? Basta right now, Ill let God take me wherever He wanna takes me :) AMEN TO THAT! CHEERS TO ALL THE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!!

tHIS PICTURE BELOW IS LIKE MY LIFE. My life is like my ever so favorite extra drizzled caramel frappucino and Im savoring every single moment of it. :)

MAJOR CHANGE No. 5 FAITH

I became an agnostic for like a year and have just regained my faith recently. Anyway, I don't know how it really started but I guess it has something to do with my course and not being able to attend mass. We have lots of philosophy subjects and theories in Sociology that would really make you question your religion. Here's an example theory, "Religion is the opium for the oppressed". This simply means that God exists to calm and control the poor telling them to be patient and real riches will be given to them in heaven. Something like that. hehe :p Anyway, during my agnostic days, an end-of-the-world phobia developed in my head! I was scared like hell to the point that at even on normal brown outs, I'd get scared like shit thinking that it has something to do with the world ending. I was so irrationally scared that whenever the 2012 trailer was shown in movie houses, I'd cover my ears and close my eyes! For real! HAHAHAHA! I felt this fear for more than a year and it was hell! Being so stupid and scared. Now I realize you can tell you are spiritually weak when you give in to temptations quickly and that there is fear in your heart.

So yeah, I was experiencing this kinda shit but my life had a mind blowing 360 turn! I attended a Christian "retreat" in Pampanga last May and after that everything just fell into places. Thank you to Ariane Lingat and now I can truly say that I'm back on track and I'm experiencing real joy in my heart and a peaceful mind. Like now, my mom, sister and I go to Victory church in Alabang every weekend. So maybe you're wondering, am I a born again Christian now? Well yes I can say, but then I know in my heart that I can't turn my back on the catholic church. hehe. Although I really love attending Christian service coz everything just feels right and you can feel the passion in every service. It is amazing I tell you. :) and I also get to meet new people and still looking forward to meeting more!

Kanina I after service I met up with Danielle, my group leader and we talked about repentance. :) It was just like chatting with a close friend nothing preachy or something weird. I really like Danielle btw, she inspires me big time! After our one 2 one talk, she prayed for me and her prayer was utterly beautiful... I really admire her! :) I even told my mom, "ma, ang ganda mgpray ni Danielle!" Danielle pa naman is spokening dollar kaya angsarap pakinggan talaga! :) :)

Anyway I just want to pray right now hahaha.. Sorry don't laugh okay :) Im just so inspired and Im overflowing with love and I wanna share it with ya! Here goes...

Dear God.

First of all I wanna thank you for giving me a second chance at life. My life was like a roller coaster with ups and downs but now I know that whatever happens, my life will be smooth sailing because I know you are by my side. I thank you for not giving up on me and thank you for saving me though I was hard headed, rebellious and I kept on hiding away from you.

Thank you for giving me all the right people cos they have been great blessings and I hope I am too to them. I get anxious about my future and sometimes I feel weird and weak but Lord God I know everything works for the better. No matter how hard and painful the path I had to go through, I know that there is goodness in it and I know I learned from it. Those were just trials I had to overcome to build character and to gain strength. I trust you with all my heart and my soul and my life. and I'm here to glorify you in everything that I do, from combing my hair to studying to even simply breathing! I am just so happy Lord God that you love me and that I love you!!! :D :D Thank you thank you!!!! Lord God I'm all yours and may I be an instrument to reach out to people so they would know how awesome you are! May the person reading this be blessed indeed.. and that your will be done! AMEN!!!! :)

surprise

2010-01-21T12:19:00.003+08:00

You know what Ive learned recently, no matter how long your with a person, in the long run, you'll be surprise that you still don't know who he or she really is.

Life moves really quick. In a minute your life is cherry on top of an ice cream, but the next thing you know, your life is a ripped rag on a muddy day. As what Coelho said "It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.” Life is soo unpredictable. Life is full irony and bullshits.

Oh well. Just live with it. Sometimes go with the flow. minsan di rin mapigilan. And sometimes go against the flow when you feel it's right. You see, I believe that there are moments in our life that we would hear a whisper telling us what to do when it seems like there's nothing we can do.

IRONY. BEAUTY. LIFE. soo weeeird, GAAAH. Wala lang Im just so weirded out.

AYYY!!! NAKO!! NAKAKALOKA!!!!!

2010-01-19T13:35:00.002+08:00

Ayoko na ma in love. As in. hehe joke lang. Hindi na ako natuto. Para akong gamu gamong lapit ng lapit sa lintek na gasera na yan. No matter how hard I tried to resist it, eh parang nahypnotize ako sa ganda promises ng love.... *blink blink(EW)

Pero bakit ganun, napaso na ako before tapos eto na naman. HAY NANAY. bwusit peste.. nakakagigil! Eto kasing "new love" ko ay ang tinatawag na right love at the wrong time and place and the wrong everything na yata.

So ok enough drama. hehe. Tagal kong di nagsulat ah. hehe. Dami na nangyari. Nakakatawa, ang huling post ko is about sa NSTP trip to Bulacan. Nilagay ko dun kung gaano ako naapektuhan dun at gaano na touch ang heart ko ng mga bata and about sa trip na yun. E WALANJO, BAGSAK PALA AKO AT THE END OF THE TERM. HAHAHA. How ironic. E kase naman, di ako nakasagot sa group discussions online. MALAY KO BA NA MAY GANUN. Tsaka NSTP na nga lang, binabagsak pa nila. Sumasagot naman ako sa mga quizzes, and prelims and kung anu anu pa. Bullshit, sayang binayad dun... So ayun na nga, kukunin ko ulit next sem....

Alam mo ba yung feeling na syempre, new year, new hope?? I mean may mga expectations ka, na magiging maayos na ang lahat. Ganun ako nung January 1. Ang saya saya ko pa. Tapos ba naman, January 3 2010, unang Sunday ng 2010, naguho ang lahat.... Maaga ako natulog nun kase excited daw ako kunyari pumasok. mga 12.30am nagising ako tahol ng tahol mga aso. Tas yun pala may magnanakaw sa bakod namin, tas pumunta sa likod at ninanakaw mga manok namin! (Yung mga pesteng manok nga pala sa tito ko yun na sabungero) Ayun buti yung boy namin matapang sinugod ung magnanakaw. Sinisigawang ng "putangina mo" ung putanginang magnanakaw na gumambala sa mahimbing kong tulog, na yung putanginang magnanakaw na rin yun ang may dahilan ng SLEEP DEPRIVATION KO HANGGANG NGAYON!

Ewan ko ba, natrauma yata ako. Sabi ng ate ko napaka nerbyosa ko daw. hahaha. Oo tama, daig ko pa nga yata si mama. E kasi naman! Ikaw ba naman manggaling sa sakit (2years ago) tas naggaling ka sa super mega heavy break up (1year ago) at tapos may phobia ka pa sa end-of-the-world (na di ko alam kung bakit pati yun pinopoblema ko) tas yun. Feeling ko eto talaga yung mga bagay kung bakit napaka paranoid ko. HAHA. Minsan nga feeling ko kailangan ko na magpunta sa psychologist. E minsan naman feeeling ko OA lang din ako..

So eto super haggard, super lacking of sleep ako. AS IN.. Naging cause pa nga yun ng matinding dagok sa lovelife ko. Oompf. Kaya eto nagiinarte ako ngayin. hehe..

2009-09-02T12:37:00.005+08:00

Last Saturday, Aug 29, was my LTS trip at Bulacan. I handled three grade 3 students and taught them the subjects math and english. I also read them children stories but unfortunately the one I read for them was an old crappy coloring material. Wala kase ako dinala, galing ako dorm huhuhu. I was saddened to know that the kids didn't know the stories of Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel and the 3 little pigs. Im soo naive to even think that all the children know about the story of Cinderella.. :(

Parang I at that time, gusto kong umuwi at dalhin lahat ng disney cartoons dvd collection sa bahay at lahat ng colored children's book.. :( :( HAY!! Anyway, Ill see Harold, Romnick and Joan next semester again.. I hope mag aral pa sila ng mabuti, kase infainress they're really smart kids and really bibo! Kailangan lang talaga, tutukan sa school ... Ayun that's all... baboosh!

Things that Im looking forward to right now:

My friend's dance competition will be happening tonight! WUHOO!
2 day team building seminar on Saturday! :)
Next Friday is our field trip for Rizal!

already gone - kelly clarkson

2009-09-02T12:32:00.002+08:00

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

I love this song!!

biggest frustration

2009-08-12T13:37:00.004+08:00

I wasnt able to go to Lady Gaga's concert last night.. HOW IRONIC........... I Cried.. God.. Im so sad right now. Super..

:((
:\
:s
T.T
;c

FUCK i cant get over it.. :( My mom texted me last night and asked me how's it going. I said. "Lungkot. di nakanuod Lady gaga." :(( :(( I was willing to sell my phone even! My friend offered to pawn his watch and phone. I DIED yesterday deciding what to do... And then I got so sad when my ATM was out of cash. And then that's when I decided not to go. I remembered how mad my mom would be when she finds out Id go to a concer when it's exams week and that Im willing to pawn things that are not even mine or that Id even sell my phone. HAAAAAAAAAAAAY

LADY GAGA I FUCKING LOVE YOU! LAST NIGHT WAS HEARTBREAKING!
To comfort myself we ate at MCDO and I bought caramel sundae. hehehe.

ITENERARY

2009-08-10T14:20:00.008+08:00

TUES: exam on RC.. Review, review and review for Thurs exam!

WED: I have no exam. REVIEW DAY for the hell subjects on thurs..

THURS: exam on Histo, Rat Psych and Socio!

- go to Araneta and cheer for LA SALLE!! (with Arturo) and see my future BF Atkins :))

- go to Montgomery for the after exam celebration with my block. Im planning not to drink on that day, but who knows, right! haha joke...

- My bestfriend elai played the MOM CARD last night and told me that I was like drinking too much already and that I need to take Liveraide na. LOL. So we agreed that Ill sleep over at her place and just UBE UBE! hehehe

FRI: No classes! No plans yet. Maybe pig around at El's place...

SAT: Attend a debut at Chonggo grill somehwere in Ortigas with Arturo and Rusty. And then maybe meet up with Rime after the party. I think we'll go to Pier1..... hehehe (*Congo grill hahaha)

And then next next week is our much awaited 2 day-1night TEAM BUILDING SEMINAR!!! I wish itll be fun! =S Gaaah. Hello booze again... Im like killing myself with all the boozees and wee nights and all the studying. I need to fucking Lie low already.. PFT!

Well whatever! IT"S FUN! PARTTYYYYYYYYY! haha kidding..

ANYWAY! This morning's traffic was HORRIBLE! GOD! I was perspiring like a pig when I got here to UST. And then Someone gave me a rose.. OOmph! hehe. HABA NG HAIR KO! OH! Speaking of my hair. I wanna experiment with my hairstyle again! hehe. You know how it is, when you're "brokenhearted" and all that crap and that you want a new look. Blah blah. Im itching to go to the salon and have my hair fixed! No Im not gonna cut it short I just want a trim or a cellophane or a manicure or a hair color or a what else? HAHA. And oh! I want a facial as well. Hmmmm... Myabe next week Ill try doing these things :P

GTG! baboosh!

2009-08-08T12:09:00.003+08:00

OMG! Almost a month since my lost post! A lot has happened! AS IN SUPER DUPER MANY THINGS HAPPENED!!!!! One day is not enough to make kwento about what has happened to my busy/tired/happy/emo/smashed life!!! Oh well. It's because of this...... My mom cut off our internet connection since I'm always away from home and nobody will be infront of the screen 24/7. EH KAHIT NA! Di tuloy ako makapagvlog. hehe... The only time I get to surf the net is during my vacant time and after class. :P And then of course play our fave past time (drrum rolls) LEFT FOR DEAD!

Anyway yesterday was my KORFBALL PE day. The open court was wet so our instructor let us played on the field. It was damn muddy but we had no choice.
Korfball is coed p.e. so we have boys in the team.The ball was so muddy and then this Mak guy passed the ball really hard to me. I wasnt able to catch it cos it was slippery so the ball hit my face real hard! haha! So yeah I had putik all over my uniform and face... I was yelling GROUP HUUUG! hahahaha. It was fun! :D I love my cute uniform! It's like a skirt and it makes me look sexy hahaha. .One more thing, my t-shirt number is 01! Thanks to my surname I got my favorite number. Well favorite for some reasons. haha :))

* HAAAAAAAAAAAY Next week is Prelims week already. GAH! Ill start studying later :D....

* Ms Socio screening happened last Thursday. I hope they' ll choose me! hahahaha. WHY? Because I wanna be MS. Arts and Letters 2009! AHAHAHA Why?? wala lang. Gusto ko lang. I wanna prove something to myself. hihihi! :P

* What else?? I wanna tell something about my love life.. What happened to it and what's happening right now. HAHAHA. BUT! Id rather keep my mouth shut :)

*Hmmm what else... that's all for now i guess! :D

EXHIBITIONIST!

2009-08-08T11:36:00.003+08:00

TANGINA! I was walking along Dapitan a few minutes ago and there was this MANONG DRIVER about to piss on the sidewalk. AND POTA! FACE TO FACE KAME! I even saw him shaking his LONG BROWN hotdog(?) from afar! I MEAN TANGINA mo tumalikod ka sana sa wall. AS IN DUN SYA NAKAHARAP SA DADAANAN KO! huhuhuhuhu tangina nakakasuka literal! huhuhuhuu. Dumaan nalang ako, kunyari nagtetext pero natatawa ako HAHAHAHA kadireeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pota! pota! kadire! HAHAHAHAH tangina whaatttaaa day! TANGINA! FUCK FUCK!! FUUCK!

I popped by Ministop and I almost died when I saw this brown jumbo hotdog.. HAHAHA.

updating

2009-07-14T15:08:00.003+08:00

HELLOOO!!!!!! Wow it's been weeks! I dont have an internet connection at home that's why I wasnt able to update much. My life outside school is a complete blur. I dont know where to start actually.

------> Usually after my 7pm class I would hang out with Arturo (and others) and play Left for Dead for hours and we would chill until 930pm. I-CHILL computer shop is our haven! haha. Im kinda getting used to having my dinner around 10 to 1030. hehe

------> Ive never had an ALCOHOL-FREE week since the start of the classes. Thanks to my Sociolgy frineds and RichBitchKIds friends :P :)) :))

------> My lola is still in the ICU. I visited her last Sunday and I cant even look at her because Id get teary eyed.... Sobrang naawa ako. Half of her body is paralyzed but I was able to held her (functioning?) hand and it was a sad sad sad moment.. I couldnt stand it seeing her like that.. :(

-------> HERE'S THE MOST EXCITING THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME..... I joined the Mountaineering club and the Circulo HIspano!!!! :D :D :D Weeee! I was so happy that my blockmates joined the MT.eering! YEY! It was a dream come true. LOL.

Circulo Hispano means Circle of Spanish.. So you know what it is.. hehehe. I wish Ill be 1 of th 20 students who'll get to travel to Spain! :D :D And then of course I think it will be of great help to learn spanish now cos we have 2 Spanish classes in the near future. hehe

-------> I got 20/25 in RC quiz and 14/15 in Theo class! Yeeeeah. PLease let me brag. :)) ahaha :P I hope ill be able to multitask this good for the whole year. By multitask I meant balancing my study and party/drinking habits . HAHAHAHAHAHA :)) :P

--------> I dont feel well right now. I have a sore throat. I wish this aint the Flu..

ILL POST PICS MAYBE a DAY from now :D :D :D
adios ! (feeliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing) hahaha

:D

2009-07-03T12:31:00.003+08:00

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I wana learn how to sew..

death

2009-07-01T15:01:00.003+08:00

Oh my god. This is it. The topic that I (always) wanted to write about but dread the thought of it at the same time---until now..

My grandmother from the maternal side is staying in the hospital for about two weeks now. She's bleeding and she is always in need of blood transfusion.. They cant just open her up and operate on her because of her age so it took days to finally see what's wrong with her. I dont really know the REAL STORY cos my mom wont tell me the details. Btw, my lola is I think 86. I was sooo sad last Sunday because it was the night we all thought that is was her time already. But you know what, 86 is a beautiful age and if it's God's will, then so be it.

I'm not THAT afraid of death anymore. :p Everybody will die eventually.. hehe. I just have MY own 3 conditions when the time comes.. (if God will allow)

1. I want to die peacefully and beautifully. (Pwedeng mga 70+ na? hahaha)

2. Before I die I want to travel the world. (selfish hahaha)

3. My life should be meaningful. I mean, there are people who lived their life to its fullest.... I WANT TO BE THE PERSON WITH PURPOSE. HAHA basta.. I have selfless goals that I want to fulfill.. di lang halata. Magchacharity po ako at iba pa. hahaha :) :)

Of course before all these "purpose cliches" of mine, I still need to work on a lot of stuff. Especially with myself. Im still in the process of learning and discovering myself.. Of course, I start with myself.. (the hardest hahahaha)

And then of course, there's my parents.. Actually pati sa parents ko may condition ako.HAHAHA. Reregaluhan ko pa si mama ng watch with diamonds. BIbigyan ko pa sila ng cute na bahay. Magtatravel pa kame ni mama. Bibigyan ko pa si papa ng mabubutingting... etc etc etc.. hahaha! Basta family pa muna.. :D

ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. back to my lola... Hmm. basta whatever that will make her happy and out of suffering dun ako.. Alive or with God. Dun ako..

"death completes human existence"

PS di ko sya pinapatay ah.
haha :P God bless my lolaaaa.
huhuhu....
and aaaaall the aged!

ef u Ah1n1

2009-06-25T14:33:00.007+08:00

(dahil issue sa Pinas ang blog ko, magtatagalog ako)

Hay nako. Alam nyo ba kung bakit super big deal sa Pilipinas ang Swine flu (mas gusto ko swine flu, para swabe) e kase, ang tinatamaan nito mga mayayaman. HAHAHA. Halimbawa, nagumpisa sa La Salle (naging big deal to' sobra) tapos kung san san pang mga exclusive schools. Pero bakit nung kumalat ang swine flu somewhere sa isang public school, (tignan mo pati ako di ko alam name ng school) hindi masyadong napagtuunan ng pansin ng mga tao, dahil rin hindi masyadong pinansin ng media! Deadma lang ganun.

Choosy tong aH1n1 kase tignan mo sa mga sosy schools nagstart tapos pati sa mga kompanya like, duh, ADB lang naman, una nagkaron ng case. Tapos pati daw anak ni Jinggoy Estrada tinamaan ng ah1n1. BIG DEEEEEAL. whatevsver! hehe.... Wag na kase kayo bumalik ng Pilipinas. hehehe joke. Ewan ko lang ah, kaya ingat na ingat ung mga tao sa DOH or sa news, kase mejo may kaya sa buhay ang mabilis matamaan kase nga diba pag nag aabroad ganyan..

Pero kung yung baliw sa kanto ang tamaan, hindi yun papansinin.. Baka sunugin pa yun ng buhay.. hehe

Tapos epal pa ng media minsan, wag daw magpanic pero kung i feature nila ang ah1n1 parang T-virus...

Alam mo ba ang T-virus??? HAHAHA (shet hirap nako magkwento ng tagalog) Kung naglalaro ka ng Resident Evil, alam mo yun. Yun yung pag namatay ka, magiging zombie ka na. Naisip ko nga e, what if kaya itong ahini virus e parang tulad ng sa Resident Evil.. Astig siguro yun. Estimation ko, patay ako agad kung may mga zombie na kalaban. Ganun ako ka duwag, di nako makakatakbo... Or pwede ring sole survivior ako, kase mag tatago ako sa isang cabinet ganun. Naisip ko na yan lahat! Ako pa! :)

Pero siguro din kung badtrip ako, tas parang may love story pa na involve, baka mag ala Eba ako. :)) anyway corny na...

Okay mejo segway tayo. TAKTE! lage ako nabubulol sa ah1n1 na yan! Shit. Dapat swine flu nalang talaga eh. Bakit kaya pinalitan ng mas intelektwal na pangalan? siguro ayaw nila babuyin pangalan ng mga baboy! HAHA binaboy yung baboy. HHAHAHAHA la lang. nakakatawa noh... hahahaha.

Pero kahit ganyan minsan napaparanoid ako. Minsan lang. hehehe Mejo sakitin pa naman ako. Ay hindi pala mejo. HAHA. feeling ko nga pag tinamaan ako nito, deads agad ako :)) Pati kami ng roommate ko si Abi, ganyan pinaguusapan. HAHAHAHA. sabi ko nga e, pag pumasok kame, magsusuot kame helmet. hahaha! O kaya pasok ka sa school ng parang pang under the sea. Cool ka na nun. For sure kahit wala kang Ah1n1 mamemedia ka. hahahahahaha...

sigaw ka na, go go power rangers!!! hahahahaha!

kaloka.

YM ghost hahahaha

2009-06-15T16:35:00.009+08:00

at Dre's dorm. HAHAHA. Ayaw nyang maniwala sakin. The first time something blurry kept on showing up on his webcam screen that night.. Since he doesn't want me to send it to him... Bahala ka, post ko dito.. haha :p

Click HERE to see the zoom zoom version.

haha takot na takot yung bata :P hehehehehe

gaga doll domination

2009-06-14T15:36:00.010+08:00

Pussycat dolls concert made a big stir here in Manila, thanks to Clear shampoo's promotions and advertisements. Eventhough the concert was over, they're still playing the tv ads. haha! I wanted to watch the concert but knowing that it was held in MOA open grounds and people got discounts from a shampoo.. Ughhhh.

Don't get me wrong though, I LOOVE the pussycat dolls. They look good with their hot ensembles and God they can really dance and bring it. I even imagined myself being part of the THE NEXT PUSSYCAT DOLLS. hehe. Thing is.... I won't place myself in a crowded sweaty place and then fight my way to the front just to have a peek of little people dancing. Or being in that place while I made a fool of myself looking at the big screen. Id rather watch HD pussycat doll videos in my laptop with my headset. Total kick ass bass in the comfort of my home. :D hahaha!

BUT! another but... IF IT WAS LADY GAGA... I'd make a fucking exception. hahaha! I sooo love her! I'm in love with lady gaga! I was a fan the first time I saw her in Perez Hilton--that is exactly a year from now! AS EN! hahaha! I remember it was also the time people were comparing her to Xtina Aguilera.

Ive loved her since then.. I was so obsessed with her music and of her, I even had her photo as my prim pic in YM for weeks And I posted her picture in my multiply website! hehehe :P
I drifted as a GAGA fan when "some" people started liking her. Haha Yeah I know it's stupid but see? It's true love! I was even jealous. I wanted her music to myself. :)) I thought, baduy na..

Anyway that kaartehan of mine is all over now. I dont care. The more people who like Gaga, the better.. She's an avant-garde of great taste. She's the real deal. She really worked hard on her way to the top. Did you know Lady Gaga came from the upper west side of New York (rich kid), then worked in a bar (lower east side) as an entertainer to embrace music more. How passionate!!! She even said she makes love to her music! lol And btw, she wrote songs for the PSD! hehehe :p

Here's something I copied from her site.

It’s been a while since a new pop artist has made her way in the music industry the old-fashioned/grass roots way by paying her dues with seedy club gigs and self-promotion. This is one rising pop star who hasn’t been plucked from a model casting call, born into a famous family, won a reality TV singing contest, or emerged from a teen cable TV sitcom. “I did this the way you are supposed to. I played every club in New York City and I bombed in every club and then killed it in every club and I found myself as an artist. I learned how to survive as an artist, get real, and how to fail and then figure out who I was as singer and performer. And, I worked hard.”

Remember her Just Dance official video? I would always play it over and over again in youtube and then wish that I was there at the party. It's like you can party w/o inhibitions.

Okay back to the topic about concerts... Here's a vid of Lady Gaga's concert in LA. This is just the concert intro but it give me the chills. hehehe. Perez Hilton posted this few months ago but since I'm talking about Lady Gaga, might as well post it here :P :P

AAAAHH!!!!! Tagal ko ng inimagine na magconcert sya...! I swear I wont eat for month just to get front row tickets or VIP tickets. HAHAHA. And then if she gets close to the crowd, Ill probably make out with her since she's open to lesbo actions. HAHAHAHAHA. *im not Bi but for Gaga, I can be. lol* Love her. Cant wait to kiss, I mean to see her sing live.. :D

PS I want to buy a white wig
so I can strut a LADY GAGA
DO to a halloween party :))
Nice idea eh??

Better listen to this.. :D I poker her face by Kid Cudi feat KANYE and Common :D ..You'll hear a little part if lady gaga's acoustic version of poker face :P

Kanye and Kid Cudi (day N night)... awesome feat!

huhu

2009-06-12T21:25:00.006+08:00

Im disappointed with myself. I only posted 11 posts for this whole summer vacaation. Which sucks because most of it were just random, not-much-of-a-sense mediocre posts. Nothing out of the box or nothing that required me to think deeply or nothing amusing.. I SUCK!

I hate it whenever I lost track with my writings. WHY!! Arghhh... I dont wanna lose my passion for writing. hehe. Shit. NASAAN NA INSPIRATIONS KOOO.. NYETA!!

hehehe..

How could I write a novel (better than Harry Potter lol) when as early as today I'm losing it. Putakte kase eh. Baduy ng mga happenings this summer. buti patapos na.. :)) I can go back to school aaaand.... be cool. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Fuck it Im done writing for tonight. :) :P Got really nothing to say.-again. :( Maybe next time. :D Promise I'll make it up to myself and to you. Whoever u are. hehehehe

INSPIRE ME WORLD! :D :D

PS I want some big time
oppurtunities and big time
fun this coming
school year. AMEN to that!

:D

college history

2009-06-05T15:56:00.006+08:00

At the bottom is my sched for the first semester. I only have 5 subjects :P Underload ako ng 9 units. hehe. My schedule is so-so. Hate my vacant time but I have no choice so, whatever.. I love my P.E. btw :D.

Maybe you're wondering why I only enrolled 5 subjs. I already took some of it, back in my engineering days and took advanced subjects last year....

You're wondering why I dont have any advanced subjects this sem, it's because I just want to settle to one block and that's 2scl. This will also give me more free time and Ill be a regular student next year! (I will never be a regular student if I would still take advance subjs).

Yun nga lang, I'm 2 years delayed... Why am I 2 years delayed?? It's because I stopped one schoolyear cos of my auto-immune vasculitis and then I shifted course pa. =))

Why did I shift course? Because HASSLE SA ENG'G! Ayoko magpakastress dun at mabulok sa mga programming codes. TAE! Anyway, di ako debarred or bagsak dun. HAHA. Share lang..

So. That's my colorful college life.. :) :)

umiwas sa araw buong bakasyon

2009-05-29T02:19:00.005+08:00

2 days to go before summer vacation

officially ends.

and I stil HAVENT GONE TO A BEACH

OR A POOL

PARTY!!!!!!!!! Booo! :(( :((

What a summer... Im paler than eva..

PS We ddnt swim at Yo's
condo cos we got tamad. Yo also
went to her class.
Buti nalang, it's nice to eat and lie around
@ her place. HAHA

mr young working guy

2009-05-22T13:15:00.002+08:00

You know what. Ive learned that when a guy wears a long sleeves polo plus a neck tie, with of course the right fit and the right color combination... he'll be hotter 5x! :)) :)) Even if his not hot, he'll be good to look at.. Of course Im referring to 20-30 year olds.. HAHAHA :P

I hope my trainer doesnt get to see this.. :)) :)) Because Im referring to him haha. 2nd day of traininng at SAMS (PhilamUN) he wore a light polo(almost white) with shades of purple and matched it up with a glossy purple tie... 3rd day of training he wore a Black polo with narrow white and rose pink stripes and then he matched it up with rose pink tie. SO CUTE.. I guess he knows his fashion. Or his wife picked it up for him.. HAHAHAHA.. Anyway as I said, he's not hot, but it made him look better.. It sucks I dont have any camera. HAHA

Ok so your confused. what the hell am I doing criticizing his fashion smashion.. HAHAHA and the fact that Im not talking about what Ive learned about the seminar. :P

But you know, the training was great! nice people and all that. Learn more about how to handle/diversify/invest one's finances.. Anyway Ill be at another training this coming Monday. Wiz me luuuck. :P

OMG If your Stressed out. Try this!

2009-05-19T18:26:00.007+08:00

I just wanna share that the other night, I was struck by a horrible news from a friend. I wont say what's it about cos it's very personal. Anyway, for the past 2 days I sucked all the negative emotions and sadness in life, cos what happened between the two of us really hurt and affected me like hell. By the way, this is a girl so dont make intriga! haha..
Ive been crying for days cos I felt really bad and helpless about the situation. I didn't even go to SAMS seminar at U.N. cos I wasnt able to open my eyes becaus of excess crying the previous night. Even my last post in this blog is connected with what Im talking about! hehe.

So! Last night was the climax of my depression and I felt really really bad! The last time I felt bad was the time I broke up with my boyfriend, and I SO HATE THE FEELING! I cant even seem to fall asleep cos my mind just keep thinking about things (stupid things actually). I got so scared that IF I dont stop being depressed and anxious about my life I might end up meeting a psychiatrist! For real!!!!!! That you know I might end up schizo or crazy or something.. HAHAHA.

Okay, I said to myself, THIS HAS TO FUCKING STOP! This fear and this sadness and the anxiety are all negative forces that's pulling me down. In other words, papanget ako dito! hehe jk! I thought that this has got to stop! I need to be proactive about this! I mean since I cant really do anything about it, Ill just have to stop thinking about it right!?? Anything that is beyond my control is beyond my control. I decided I had to move on. How?? Read on because this is the best damn thing Ive done for months. hahahaha!

STEP 1.

I thought of all, when I say all, ALL! All things that were giving me the negative feelings. I thought of all my problems, my hatred/anger, my dislikes, anxieties, worries, fears and whatever things that were pissing me off. I thought of it one by one. And the one by one, in my mind, I put it ALL in a box. AS IN ALL OF IT and then I threw the box away (all this was happening inside my head. If you want you can act it out to be more believable haha) That box is forever deleted. Burned. Popped. Singaw. haha!

Thing is, I will forget about the box forever! :)) I promised to myself and I promised to God. That's the most important! I promised to God. :)

The MIND was relaxed now, I thought, but what about my body?? We know that when you're feeling down, somehow your body feels strange too. You feel tired or you feel like shit. hehe I dunno how to describe it exactly. So here's what you got to do..

STEP 2. CONTRACTION/TIGHTENING

You start from head to toe ok?... Start with your eyes, shut your eyes really really really hard for ten seconds and then let go slowly.. try to breathe ok? So next is your shoulder and neck. Lift your shoulder up as much hard as you can (but slowly, you might sprain yourself) for 10 seconds and then let go slowly. You'll feel the relaxing effect! and then work your way through your hands, closing it really really tight, same procedure and then my fave part, down to the cute ASS/BUTT (contract) and then down to your feet(contract).

Contract your muscles to its fullest. And then lastly, from body parts contraction, do A WHOLE BODY CONTRACTION, you can like think of your problems or whatever, for 10 secs and then let go again slowly, simultaneously let go of all your inhibitions too, slowly leaving your body!

I did all of these last night, and I even cant remember falling asleep! This is the best way to relax!!!! I swear! My step 1 and 2 are NOT just MADE UPs ok! HAHAHA. I read it from somewhere! You can try the net or something, but I swear, this is the most relaxing ever. Esp after you contract the muscles, and you feel it relax, OWWWW HEAVEN! I swear it's goodnight sleep!

I woke up 5.55Am todayand I felt good! :P I had a good mood all through the day. All positive things. I just got home right now, but I dont feel that tried, I went to UN :P..... Anyway I hope I helped you. Though you may find it weird to do, but IM TELLING YOU.. You'll be happy happy !!! hahahahahaha

change

2009-05-18T12:08:00.003+08:00

What's your weakness? We often stumble to this question in interviews or on surveys or maybe just from a curious friend. I always had a hard time thinking of a good answer to this, or rather an honest answer. hehe. Often times we say dramatic things or something heroic. We always answer what's still gonna make us NOT WEAK.

Like some will say their weakness is their loved ones, that he/she is willing to sacrifice everything for that peron. DUH! That's a strength! Your like the dumb hero who is selfless and courageous. That's not a freaking weakness...

So you see it's really hard to think of a genuine weakness without careful analysis of yourself. It's even harder to think of a weakness that will not be cross fired as a strength. Except of course in interviews it's kinda ok to tell stupid weaknesses that will make you more "hirable". haha

So what's your real weakness? Have you think abou it? I think mine is change. I dunno maybe I'm like an ant. When you wipe of their trail or line (whatever u wana call it) they get crazy and run off like tiny lunatics. And then it's really really hard for them to snap off the panic attack and get back to the line. Cos we know that ants excrete something from them, I dunno was it fart or pee (jk) that makes them follow the lead..... Maybe Im like that. Ants. Change is really uncomfortable to me..

Maybe Im an ant in the past life? hahaha

PS Try wiping off the invisible
line in an ant formation. It's
oddly experimental in some
way. :)) :))

contact lens

2009-05-14T15:46:00.007+08:00

OMGGGGGGGG it's sooo hard to put on contact lens!!! As in! nakakaiyak! nanginginig nako sa inis! 30 mins per eye! SHET! anliit pa ng butas ng mata ko! HAHAHA :P Anywaaaaaaay I did it! This is the fourth or fifth time I wore these babies.

Well HAZEL BROWN LENS ddnt do much good cos my eyes are brown already. It's not obvious when not on direct light. hehe. Uhmmm I'll buy a light brown lens and I think it'll be better than wearing my broken eyeglasses. Broken because it keeps on slipping off! HAHA :p But I still want you to know that I SUPER HATE THE ACT OF PUTTING IT ON. huhu.

But thank God it easier to take it off. I just pinch it every time. That is, Im not sure if that's the correct way of removing it. haha :P

MOM's 3 day celebration is DA BESSSSST!

2009-05-13T14:21:00.012+08:00

Hello! It was my mom's birthday last May 2 (pacquiao vs hatton) and I super love the 3 day celebration because of foods foods foods! It was a very good timing cos I was having my PRE MENSTRUAL SYNDROME, which means my food cravings were kicking in! yeah define food satisfaction! HAHA ok so the first day..... And of course Im so proud of my mom still looking gorgoeus at 50! yey!!!

FIRST DAY - MAY 1 friday

Ok so mama just wanted to bring food for her close officemates. It was a merienda party but all hail the SMORES BDAY CAKE, my super favorite Pancit Malabon from Binan and the Bugong chicken. I mean yeah boy!!! We forgot to bring the camera so.... there! No pictures hahaha! Naka 3 balik yata ako! or maybe four..... Andre was there too.

2ND DAY - MAY 2 saturday

Usually when its someone's bday in my family we just eat out. So we're fighting over where to eat and then we decided to go to Joey Pepperoni since it was my dad who discovered this resto and he was SO DAMN PROUD OF IT. hahahaha. Well he should be. The food is great! The place is good too! And the very best part is, the price of the food is very affordable compared to other pizzerias like Italianni's! Don't believe me? Ill tell you what we ordered and then guess the bill, ok? haha..

2 pesto meal (with 2 garlic bread and 2 fried mozarella)
1 carbonara fetuccini meal (with 2 garlic bread and 2 fried mozarella)
1 anchovy pizza
1 joey pepperoni pizza
1 Fredo pizza
and 1 joey pepperoni pizza (take out)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
P 800!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the pizzas are on 50% discount)

damn right! We ate soooo much! My tummy was about to explode and man! P800!!? We were thinking it would be all worth more than a thousand.. But yeah! The best place evuuuuur to eat eat eat eat! :D :D BRAVOOO!!!!!

whatta smile hahaha

VIDEOOOOOOO

hay naku si papa! feel na feel ang pagiging camera man!

huling huli kumukuha pa ng pagkain si ate! lol

eto pa! after kumain at nabusog super laugh trip na kame.. hahaha!

2ND DAY - MAY 3 saturday

So this is the handaan day for my mom's relatives. Mom celebrated at lola's house.... Sooooo ... More foood! Hello Clarin clan! :D And yeah, since my mom is FC with dre, she invited him. hehehe :P

watching the Pacquiao fight

may pinsans and the other kid :P :P

There are a lot of videos and pics I want to upload but Blogger isnt really the friendliest when uploading something. hehe. Anyway I just wish that my mom will stay healthy and happy always! And that she'll always have a peace of mind and always be blessed by God. I wish she would live as long as 100 yrs and above and still happy and surrounded by love! :P :P love her soo much!

2009-04-27T16:16:00.002+08:00

Im kinda stressing out on what to do for my mom's birthday this May 2... We kinda had a fight last night cos of misunderstanding but we're ok now. Now I really really want to make her happy.. Hmm what to do.. What to do.. HELP! :S

photoshoot :)

2009-04-21T23:41:00.004+08:00

Location: Bonifacio High Street

Photographer: Johanne de Torres

Models: Bonnet and Bevs

personal fave

emo love it

haha joke time

bevs!

It was a fun day though it was drizzling when we were having our photoshoot. This is for her projct and all of these pics are unedited :P

rated 18 board game

2009-04-17T11:45:00.009+08:00

I'm usually a wholesome person but this board game called Scrabble, brought the green mindedness out of me...

HAHA ok so here's the story. For the past days Ive been playing online Scrabble with this friend. The other night I lost the game by 200 pts! I was so pissed off cos he had all the good tiles all thru out the game like the 4 S's and Q's and the magic tiles. BAKAW! I got so desperate I even input the words: BIGMAC and RIBAG.

I wont mention who this friend is, btw, because it was he, who formed all the shameless and dirty words on the board. lol joke. haha. So last night I'm with vengeance. I set up a new rule.

I told my friend we'll play scrabble THE TAGALOG and funny way. We wont challenge each other as long as the words make sense (ex bigmac, ribag). English words are not allowed.

And guess what? through out the game I found it hard to think of tagalog/Filipino words that are wholesome. haha. 80% of the words in this board are so BASTOS!

here are example of the words

friend:
toro
gat*te

I put in:
lawit
tira

THEN he my friend added BOY to the word TIRA haha. wtf right. I laughed so hard when I saw the word gat*te. SHET! amp! hahaha.. Anyway Ill show you the picture and I wont censore it anymore cos one, I think anyone who reads my blog is old enough and two, Im to lazy to edit. hehehe :)

I'm Itouch and my friend is Ribag. Even my player name sounds dirty. HAHA.... ouch. So uhm if you bored as hell, you can try playing at http://www.wabble.org/ :D have fun! You can play up to 4 players :)

polar bear

2009-04-15T20:48:00.006+08:00

The hugest and scariest animal I've ever seen is the POLAR BEAR. It is so huge it frightened me. haha! :p Anyway I was surfing the net and look what I found... A video of a woman who climbed over the Polar bear's fence and jumped in!!! She was attacked and all that but she's still alive. :P though the bear bit her ass as you'll see in this vid. hehehe

Wtf! Polar bears ARE SO BIG!!!! My gosh. What was she thinking? The animal could have killed her in one swoosh. They look so freaking huge in real life than what you see in National Geographic. Shit.

Good FridaY

2009-04-10T11:51:00.003+08:00

Hello! It's Good Friday today! Ive been kinda paranoid, no not kinda BUT SUPER PARANOID for the last few days because I read something very scary... Anyway Im ok now since Ive been praying a lot and reading a few lines in the bible. YEY for me! Thank you Lord! hehe. All I need is big big faith.

:P I know I shouldnt be blogging or writing but I just wanna share that I colored my hair yesterday and guess what. Nothing happened. huhu. hahaha. I bought this light ash brown and it looks like I just had a cellophane. I should buy blonde the next time. HAHA :P Lesson learned: dont color hair on a holy week... :P sorry

Anyway... Gotta go! just popping by..

mom song - FUNNY

2009-03-30T17:27:00.007+08:00

SHHIIIIT I laughed so hard while watching this. It reminds me of my mom!!!!! HAHAHA...

If your mom

1. is a nagger
2. is makulit
3. is nakakarindi ang boses
4. is a stage mom
5. mahilig mag utos
6. loves to comment (abt everythng abt u from cothes, hair, friends etc!)
7. and is your personal critic 24/7

better WAAATCH THIS!!!!!!!!! haha :))

OMG last Saturday I went to this bday party (dont asked if I got wasted, cos I totally did) and then I slept over at my cousin's place, Jarvis. I was at their house until yesterday. Her mother (my tita Juvy) was at home too..... AND BOY! Tita Juvy did absolutely nothing but NAG, SHOUT, REMIND, SHOUT at my cousin. You know the typical loud mother who always makes utos and always minds your own business even when your already doing what she's telling you to do. THAT's HER! And that's my mom too! HAHAHA.

I was laughing inside because I was thinking, damn it's like, Im still at home! haha. I remember when I was at my friend's house in Makati, her mom kept on reminding her of things, asking questions, telling her to clean this, fix that and aaaaaall that stuff. I felt like I was not away from home too. haha. Her daughter is like 19 yrs old not 9 yrs old! hahaha...

There was this time when my mom cant think of something to sermon about, she would just DIG those past issues or just whatever she would think about. haha. Sometimes, it's so irritating I would just hold my face really hard and then smile and sigh. HAHA. Like you're wiping off something in your face in a very slow and hard pace and just. sigh... Minsan may tunog pa, ung parang paiyak ka na... hahahaha.. familiar? OMG and the worst scenario is when it's so early in the morning and you'd have her voice as your alarm.. WAAAAAAAAAAAAA. insane!

HAHA... Actually They're not mad, they JUST NAG with that LOUD SCHREECHY VOICE that you would just do whatever she says, just to make her shut up. But she won't stop, cause she has too many more things to say.. hehe. They're just pissed off that's why we could still manage to make face or roll eyes or cover ears! HAHA. I found the song funny cos it's so real life. hahaha joke.. I love moms! They keep the house alive noh? haha

Finals Week

2009-03-28T10:59:00.009+08:00

Okay so this post is super delayed. hehe. Im sorry, I just looove my Finals week, so many things happened! :P :P

MONDAY 3/9/9

My roommate, StACY and I watched YOU CHANGED MY LIFE! I am embarassed to say this, but I got so KILIG! and teary eyed. Mejo SUPER NAKA RELATE lang naman ako sa movie. The only difference is, they got back together. haha. Anyway I got home (dorm) around dinner time and my Aren just told me , we already have an exam the next day! SHIT! Economics and Lit! Shit shit. hehe. Nanuod pako sine.. Anyway I managed to wake up in the wee hours of morning and reviewed for my exam... I did good in Eco. WEEEEEE 88%! Im so proud!

TUESDAY

So after the exam (10am), Arturo, my blockmate invited me for an inuman session. (Jm, Bey, Angela, Jayrin, Leide, Chris, Arts, Brenda) I dont really hang out with them that much before, but what the hell right? booze is booze, we ddnt have classes on WEd, so I went for the gold. We stayed at View Point.. After drinking (gin juice) we played LEFT FOR DEAD. (Leide, Chris, Arts, Brenda)

So while I was playing, this guy came up to me and kept asking me these questions about the game Left for Dead. E ako super busy naman sa ginagawa ko, I ddnt pay attention to him much. Hello! Dami2 naglalaro sakin pa lumapit. Anyway, buti nalang he's cute. haha! Nanghinayang kami ni Arturo.. haha joke... After playing, we drank again (iced tea gin).. Tsk tsk. Pero infairness, all thru out the day, I just felt hot. No hilo or whatsover. :) And it was my first time to drink gin. haha wtf right!

So okay at around 4pm, I ran into RB, AJ, JEM, ALY and her suitor (forgot the name). They invited me for lunch. Since I havnt had mine, I went with them. Oh db 4pm lunch. :) So yun. Infairness Aly's suitor looks like Richard Gutierrez! :) Nice one!

Wednesday

This was the No classes day. CLENG texted me around 1130 am and was inviting me for another drinking session. I was hesitant because my exam for the next day was Philippine Constitution and Sociological THEORIES w/c is my major. She had her finals too but what the hec. I thought there was still lots of time and I could just get up at 3am (BAD HABIT). So I went straight to Pedro Gil! We bought are booze at Midtown and then CLeng texted Ishi if we could drink at his place. While waiting for Ishi's confirmation, we took 2-3 shots of GranM and guess what was our chaser? TURON! HAHA. We ddnt want to open the Blue yet...

Ok so ISHI texted us, went to Taft vito Cruz around 3pm. GRABE ANG BOYS ROOM MAGULO AT MAY AMOY. AMOY LALAKE. haha! We started to drink na, and halfway thru it, Ishi left us at his place (Providence) cos he needs to go to La Salle. My partner and I just finished whatever was needed to be finished (GranMa + GSMblue grapes). haha. Sa ground floor ng Providence, may Videoke place. So we had our videoke muna while waiting for Ishi and the he arrived, may dala pang turon. Ishi texted Martin, So dumating din si MARTIN. :) Ang chubby nya! pero mabango (sb ni cleng) haha

After videoke we bought 2 mucho Red Horse plus the left over GSM blue + vodka. Bumili pa si Martin ng mani nya. HAHA. So it was ALL LAUGHTRIP! ang saya sobra.. saya talga... So we finished drinking around 10 na. Ishi told me, earlier pa lang, ihahatid nya ako. :) Tapos sa baba na, sabi ni Martin, sama na daw sya sa paghatid. Sweet. haha.

So si Cleng bumaba na Pedro Gil, and then I was left with the two guys. Ive known them since HighSchool so I pretty much felt safe with them. So nakarating kami ng dorm around 1015PM. Then umalis na din sila Martin and Ishi..

My God I felt super duper HILO.. I went straight to the cr to wash. And then went to bed. I woke up at around 12AM feeling so bad. Nasusuka na hilong hilo na ewan.. You know what put me back to sleep?? I just thought of the guy who had always taken care of me whenever I was drunk or tipsy. I felt his prescence, as if he was there. Patay?!?? HAHA. Pero totoo..

So I woke up at 3AM and reviewed my ass off until 7 AM :) :) NO regrets ako. I had sooo much fun!! As in super fun. Ayun.. I find the exam ok.. :) PGC was a challenge.

THURSDAY

Sinamahan ko nung hapon si RB. We bought stuff for her girl. Wala kasi syang taste. haha. By dinner time, I was home already.. :)

FRIDAY

Last day of exam, History. OK naman, chicken. haha joke.. I reviewed hard for it, so no worries.. :) Had lunch with AREN, talk muna for awhile before I went home. :) And then hapon and nung gabi, may nakausap ako sa YM. :P hahaha!

So that was my Finals week. I went out of my safe zone and did some risky and stupid things. But my point is, I still managed to balance things and I never let kalokohan affect my school. I was the super juggler! This was also the first week I was single (break up mar 9), And Im super happy that these things happened at least it made things for me A LOT EASIER.. hehe. AND I WAS SUUUPER HAPPPPPY! super! Sounds cliche. Pero I had so much fun! :) :)

MASAYA TALAGA..

my pictures are in my facebook (viewpoint pics). And the other pics when i was with cleng, ishi and martin are still with Cleng. UPLOAD MO NA PAKNER! hahaha :)

summer loviiiiiiing :*

2009-03-20T10:07:00.005+08:00

WOOOOO! Ang saya ko! FINALS IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!! aND i got 88% in eco! weee not bad right? we all know I suck at eco BIGTIME... hahaha.. WEEEE SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER!!!!!! HELLOOO SUMMERRRR!!!!! :D :D

This week, kahit exams, never dumating ang araw na di ako umalis . HAHA TIBAY KO TALAGA. Exams eh noh? Basta, balance naman! I find almost all of my exams easy.. WEEEEE! hawak ko ang oras ko. Ako ang batas! bwahahaha :D hello summerrrr!!!!!! ang kulit ko e noh?? :)

Ill tell details in my next post. :)

smile na lang

2009-03-15T10:54:00.008+08:00

Tao lang ako. Puno ng emotions, nagagalit, nasasaktan. ii-iyak ko na lahat toh, hanggang sa duguin nako. Magpapakabitter nako hanggang sa maging Ampalaya nako.. I dont care. I dont care what people might say.. I dont really really care. Lahat na uubusin ko hanggang sa maka get over at move on. :)

Im not crying that often na din. YEY for me. Konti pa.. Konti pa. :) but I cant help being sad from time to time..

Siguro kahit masakit at hindi ko alam kung anu mga dahilan kung bakit nangyari toh, I still look at it as a blessing. God works in mysterious ways right? Maybe we started early (16) and there was little room for genuine growth. Maybe we've grown apart.. I dunno. Ito yung mga tanong na mahihirapan akong i-get over. Yung mga ganyan.. Lalo na ang mga what IFs. Haaay.

Oh well, it's good I talked to him last night, at least things are bit clearer now. Sabi nga nila, if you wanna move on, dont hold back any feelings, kahit mapa grudge pa yan or something. Just let it go.

Im not gonna be friendly friends with him or FC. But if ever he needs me, Ill be there to help. Echos lang naman yung mga hurtful things I said, magagawa ko e galit ako!?? :) Just take care of yourself, lalo na ngayon I wont be able to take care of u na. YOWN hehe. Pero totoo.. Be safe always, para sa akin and sa family mo.. :)

Anyway.... hay... Smile na tayo :) I dnt wanna think about the future na in terms of love life. Kung siya pa din, good. Kung iba na, good. I dont care na muna.

basta
GOD HAS GIVEN ME A NEW CHAPTER IN MY

LIFE.. AND I CANT WAIT TO FLIP THE PAGES! (got it from d radio. haha)

broken but gluing it all back...

2009-03-11T13:52:00.010+08:00

Ok Ive said some awful words cos I just wanted to verbalized whatever the hell I was feeling at that time. I felt like a trash. I wont say sorry. Maybe not until a few years.
I know... Pride is all I have..

As of now Im still picking up the courage to go on and live my life w/o that person...

But you know what?..... Im gonna let go now . And Im gonna let God...

thanks a lot

2009-03-09T19:14:00.003+08:00

Putangina ka. Get the fuck out of my life. Mamatay ka din. I hate you.